Non-traditional HS options for ADHD 8th grader

[JohnnyHeck]

Thanks you for alternate views Lindagerr. Your issues about pushing on the public school system are very important points that must not be forgotten, and the report of your success over the years is very helpful. I suggested to Ted for us to start this thread because I could sense a very critical moment for Anna. With my own son now 25, I just wish I did not miss the pivotal signals until he was 21! Now back to Anna, she used to be on Bivance, but that got pushed off Ted's latest insurance formulary. So now she's back on Adderall, which I hear is not working as well. Anna is so wounded, just wants to escape the academic environment. But she can't because you have to go to school, and of course there are extremely important issues with getting an education for success in life. She's stuck. Her parents are stuck. And that's why I have turned to y'all; the people whose views no matter how varied I know I can trust to be ultimately presented for Anna's best interest. Thanks again

[mrs.b]

One last question / thought: Has private school been considered, or is it financially possible? A lot of private schools have plans already in place to be inclusive of some learning disabilities. You pay for it, but if financing is not a concern, and particularly if Mom is hesitant about homeschooling, that might be an additional middle-ground option.

[JohnnyHeck]

Thanks a heap, Mrs. B. No, I think Ted and Eileen would move heaven and earth financially speaking. However, we are all parochial style Catholics and this is an important value issue for us. Obviously, since Anna is already in the NC secular school system, I don't think any of us would be hard up on this issue unless the private school's philosophy was very anti-catholic. Sad to say when all Christians are on the losing side of almost all current cultural trends that we keep fighting over old arguments that are clearly a matter of personal conscience and cannot ever be settled rationally on this earth. God bless to all who continue the good fight! May we all, believers and non believers, recognize that what we have is not to be taken lightly and could go from us in a flash. This is a rational assessment based on historical precedent!

[mrs.b]

Faith is a critical component to any decision, particularly one such as this. That is helpful information in providing advice, as well. My boy was in a very similar place a little over a year ago, and we chose homeschooling. Anna's parents have opportunities ahead of them to help put her feet on the path that will provide her the best possible opportunity to thrive and rise to her maximum potential. My family was told we should lower our expectations for his ability to learn and meet his peers' normal standard (thanks, No Child Left Behind nonsense; Autistics think a different way but are by no means beneath their peers in capacity and ability if provided the right opportunities...the same definitely applies to ADD/ADHD and similar disabilities). While we do not demand he meet perfection, we knew he was far more capable than they were giving him credit and just needed to be taught a different way; he could only demonstrate academic knowledge two years behind his grade level but was handed As because they claimed he was meeting his max potential (in that environment). Fast forward 16 months, and he is now able to demonstrate knowledge on par with (and in some cases, above) his peers according to standardized testing. If he grows up and chooses to be a grocery bagger, I will be so proud of him for doing as he wants, but I am so pleased we prayed on the decision, researched all available options, and came to the conclusion that provided my son a CHOICE of career paths, instead of giving up on his abilities as many of the public educators insisted we should. He currently thinks he wants to be an astronomer and begs for computer time to look up facts about everything outside our atmosphere and is giddy that the weather is cooling so we can start getting the telescope out for backyard stargazing; a year and change ago, he could not tell you much about even our closest neighbor, the moon, and hated anything having to do with learning.


If the family would like to look at private school as an option, here is a list I found of Roman Catholic private schools in North Carolina. Availability above 8th grade appears limited, but there are some high schools in the list, depending on where you all are located and how far of a commute may seem reasonable. North Carolina Roman Catholic Private Schools | Review & Photos

If the family would like to continue to give secular public school an opportunity but would like information on their rights for demanding further services and assistance for Anna, the National Center for Learning Disabilities has a wealth of knowledge of what should qualify, how to request those services, and how to fight for her rights within the system. National Center for Learning Disabilities | NCLD.org - NCLD

Lastly, if homeschooling is determined to be the best path, there are a few parochial catholic curriculums. There are several Christian curriculums Ted and his wife may enjoy (in fact, faith-based curriculums dominate the homeschool market). The first steps are legal and preparatory in nature as Jennifer outlined, though. Curriculum choice follows and will come when the other details are in place.

[Hometeacher628]

Lastly, if homeschooling is determined to be the best path, there are a few parochial catholic curriculums

If Anna is enjoys reading and her parents want to persue a Catholic non Core Curriculum utilizing the Great Books of the Western World, Seton has a Homeschool Curriculum that also works through ACE.

I have found that ADD/ADHD kids approach things differently. I have always kept my expectations up, and they have found their own resolutions to the problems to get the results. Neither of my girls think like me or resolve a situation as I would. Sometimes it can be quite frustrating for me. I have learned to provide structure ( more than I ever would have needed when I was growing up) then get out of the way. In so many instances they do things faster and more efficiently than I ever could. They also can keep more irons in the fire and it get overwhelmed. I did a lot of reading on "twice blessed" or gifted kids with ADD for me to wrap my head around things. As they get older and choose life's course for themselves, you will be amazed how much time they are able to "sit and concentrate" on something that actually interests them. In elementary homeschool, I could have just pulled my hair out with frustration. Eventually, I guided my oldest into a path she now so intensely has grasped onto, and she is going farther - faster than I could have even imagined. I had to learn to look at learning differently.

[JohnnyHeck]

If the family would like to continue to give secular public school an opportunity but would like information on their rights for demanding further services and assistance for Anna, the National Center for Learning Disabilities has a wealth of knowledge of what should qualify, how to request those services, and how to fight for her rights within the system. National Center for Learning Disabilities | NCLD.org - NCLD

Thanks for this link. It is really something different and interesting. Re: Catholic schooling here in Charlotte. Both Ted and I are very familiar with the situation. In general, while the parochial schools here are quite supportive, they do not have any kind of resources for truly developmental disability issues. So that's why Anna goes to public school. My boy, now 25, made it through the parochial system before we knew the seriousness of his ADD. But, in hindsight, I now know he was scarred by the experience in ways that may be continuing to interfere with his life as an adult. The most important of these scars was social rejection by too many male classmates. particularly the other members of the football team. I failed miserably to address His feelings of inadequacy until I saw first hand his "brain freeze" while trying to put together a large speech for his public speaking course. I finally was alert enough to demand that my wife get her head out the sand as mine finally was and get our boy some real help. Once he was properly diagnosed and could take the amphetamines for academic situations, he was a changed man. Not only did he stop running from academics but he became determined to achieve high grades. I think he has gotten only one B since. But I don't want to put too much gloss on his situation. He still is mostly unable to "connect the dots" of the bigger picture when necessary, and he does not yet have a proper sense of relative risk/reward. E.g with a new baby in his car and a tire that possibly needed less stress, he got a ticket for speeding 96 mph while passing in a 70 mph zone. So while he has finished his TESC capstone on the third try and will probably get an A and finally graduate with a BA Music ticket, life around our ADD boy and his family continues to be a whirlwind of effort. No retirement for my wife and I until death! I am just trying to help my friend Ted not make any of the big mistakes if that is really possible. Back to Anna: We actually have a lot of home school fellow parishioners at our church. However, to the best of our knowledge, these folks are doing it because our parochial schools here are not conservative enough for their value system! But if Ted goes the home school route, I'm sure these folks will give him a helping hand in any way they can. But as you and Jennifer have pointed out, we should not "put the cart in front of the horse." Thanks again for your candidness and references. And continued good fortune for you and your boy!

[JohnnyHeck]

Thanks for your reference and words of encouragement coming from your own experiences. Every frustration, e.g. like always trying to put the proverbial 10 lbs. of manure into the 5 lb. bag, you mention is so typical of the ADD situation. I'm glad you got inspiration from the high creative types ADDs but I don't think you can count on it. You can get more on my situation in the reply to mrs.b below.

[cookderosa]

I didn't know, or maybe I wasn't paying attention, that you guys are in Charlotte. Of course, that's where I live, so I am happy to help direct more specifically at this point.

P.S. Charlotte homeschool resources are one step beyond abundant. They're more like "overload" so sometimes having soooo much to weed out can be a little hectic. That said, they can poke around The Homeschool Room over off Stallings Road in Indian Trail. It's a homeschool resource consignment shop. They can get a feel for what kinds of curriculum are already out there, they sell only used, but they have EVERYTHING. Also, I'm a high school homeschool presenter for the Mecklenburg Library system, so maybe your friends would like to meet sometime at one of the presentations? Anyway, here to help.

[JohnnyHeck]

Hello Jennifer. Thanks for the kind offer. I did notice in your earlier post you said "our" state. And sure enough you have kindly put in your location info that it's NC by way of Illinois. So now we are probably going to discover that we are next door neighbors! I'm Montibello south of South Park. Ted is just south of Meyer's Park. Your main issue is still on the front burner. I.e. Learn enough about the options before the details. And that's where this still sits with Ted. We' be both working together next Saturday (10/11) at the St. Ann's Carnival grill. So if this is in your bailey wick, stop by. I have never met or have seen a forum member in the two years I have been a fairly active poster - of course none, except maybe sanantone, can compare with all your generosity of time and effort. Drop me a PM to arrange details.

[Hometeacher628]

Have Ted also check to see if the State provides any amenities to homeschoolers. Our state provides testing, documentation, and training services pre K through 12 for special needs kids of all kinds. This takes place through the Area Education office (AEA) and is free to all students. They even offered transportation to and from our home. I never took them up on any services, but found there were speech pathologists, behavioral management training, remedial teachers, coaches to help strategize test taking, etc all located at the AEA to render services for students. Busses transported kids from their prospective schools to work on their needs. If your state offers such a service, this may help everyone with the transition in the event they decide to homeschool, especially for those who view the public school as a lifeline.

Another thought, is that if Anna is not scoring well in the public school classroom, see about getting the an IEP ( an individualized Education Plan) ( as provided by section 504 in the law) which would clearly denote to the teacher what exactly she needs in her classroom in order for Anna to succeed. Such things that would be listed are extra time on tests, be seated in the front of the classroom to limit distractions, hand a test back if questions were left blank so the student develops a cue to look over the test again and is given time to work problems. There is a ton of info on the Internet to give ideas for wording when structuring IEP plans. Perhaps this will buffer her current life in public school.