Question for Home Schooling Kids

[dfrecore]

I used to think that homeschoolers were just plain weird. Then, I "met" Cookderosa (only on line). With all of her wisdom, I had to reevaluate my position. My gut still thinks, "weird," but my mind says that this is a good option for some folks.

Now, I'm going to go off on a bit of a tangent. There are lots of military spouses where I live. Many of these folks have put aside their careers to follow their spouses' military assignments. They've given up earning social security, pensions, etc., in addition to salaries. If your wife is going to be a stay-at-home mom, I hope that you've considered that she could be negatively affecting her future salary and retirement income. When I grew up, I knew a child whose father was a surgeon. Between how many years ago that was, and their country of origin, the wife was only prepared to be a stay at home mother. He had a stroke at a relatively early age, and it was a scramble for the family to stay above water. There was nother family where, due to health reasons, the father couldn't work. As the wife had worked all along, and was able to continue to do so after his illness prevented him from working, they were a bit better off. Yes, I'm crass and way too money centric than is good for me, but I thought I'd share.

Regarding SS - I will still get SS when I hit 67, because all of the money I made before I quit made me eligible. And even if it didn't, I am entitled to my husband's SS when he dies if it's higher than mine is. That is true for all married people.

If my husband was a surgeon making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (I'm assuming) and I worked at something where I did not make close to that amount, then if he was ill and we lost his income, there is no way we would be able to stay afloat on just my income anyway. I would hope instead that we would have been saving some money along the way, so that this wouldn't be as much of an issue. Or have long term disability insurance. Or no debt and a paid-off house. Or all of the above.

Many times, and for many reasons, a spouse does not work because it is best for the family. I don't work, and my husband travels extensively. There is no way I would have been willing to put my kids in daycare for 10 hours a day so that I could work in the very remote possibility that my husband might not be able to do his job in the future. If something happens to him and we can't make it, we can sell our house, move somewhere less expensive, and I can find a job. But to think that I could make up for his income in any way is unrealistic, even if I had been working all along. He just makes a LOT more money that I ever did, and probably ever will.

Another thing to consider; if you read a book like "The Millionaire Next Door", you will see that MANY of the couples that are millionaires have one income. That's because (and this is true in my house), a man may be better able to go out and make more money than their peers because they have a wife who takes care of everything. Yep, I do EVERYTHING in our household. I'm totally ok with this. I'd much rather run this place as the CEO/COO and have him out working making the money he's making. He knows that there is nothing to worry about on the home front, which makes him better able to focus on and succeed at his job. And by the way, almost all of the very successful people we know (especially where the man is in sales, which is our personal experience) has this same thing. It seems as if the more money a man makes, the more often I find that his wife stays home. It is just a winning combination for many families.

I'm not saying that everyone has to or even should run their own families this way. You get to run things the way that works best for your family. I'm just saying that your wife staying home might actually be the best thing that could happen to your family financially. That's how it worked for us. My husband made the same amount I did when I left the workforce, and has tripled his income in the last 15 years BECAUSE he was very motivated to provide for his family. It was as if our decision for me to stay home kicked him in the butt and into high gear.

Good luck whatever you decide!