Non-traditional HS options for ADHD 8th grader

[mrs.b]

Thanks again Hometeacher628. Anna does have a 504 IEP at her school. But my impression from Ted is that it is way too cumbersome and time consuming for the whole family. While the accommodations and extra structure are of course very welcome, if they are impossible to implement in the home, it's just one misery after another. Your insight that you related in how long it took you to just realize, these kids think and learn so different from the rest of us, means that a lot of stuff we come up to help sometimes only hinders. IMHO the ADDer's do have a seriously limited daily capacity for work in the sense that we know it. The worst thing I ever did for my son was to constantly refrain for for his first 21 years, ""Just put your shoulder to the wheel." Well, they can't do it the way we can. My guess is that Anna's 504 plan is such a straight-jacket that she can't breathe. And by the look in my friends eyes, its destroying every possible joy of family life. At the moment, I think Ted has heard enough to ponder some alternatives. Anna will tough it out through 8th grade. But what's best next is an open question that will take Ted's family some real soul-searching. It's always fascinating to me how the Education Establishment takes Roseau as it's father, when he specifically advocated, based on his own early experience that for the sake of a normal development, children should not be thrust into the harshness of a formal learning environment until they are at least 9 years old!

For the rest of at least her 8th grade year (because alleviating some of the immediate strain can help them get a clearer picture of what futures might look like in each possible path), one thing we did the year prior to withdrawing my son was call an emergency IEP meeting and have placed in the documented plan that we required:

1. Copies of all his text books and workbooks at home. While my kiddo is Autistic and Anna is ADD, he shares many of the same difficulties focusing and planning. One hindrance for him was forgetting his books for homework, so copies at home alleviated that stressor for him. [The school district initially balked, claiming budget issues and not having enough books. I got a list of his texts and purchased used copies online for a couple for very cheap ($5/$10 each). The ones that I could not find, I pressed a little harder and they magically found them.]
   
2. I created a simple one-page sheet that he took to his teacher each day. It listed all his subjects and the teacher wrote in a) what was covered that day for that subject (a general overview of text pages reviewed and class conversations or projects), b) homework required and its due date, and c) what the teacher felt we should supplement at home based on her observations of how my kiddo absorbed class lessons. In addition to forgetting books, he sometimes missed when the teacher discussed homework and relying on friends' notes did not often help if they were mistaken.
   
3. Once a week on Mondays, the teacher also sent home an overview of her lesson plan for the coming week. Changes happened mid-week but it allowed us a better picture of what was going on so we could more easily supplement.
   

Anna in middle school will mean more teachers to coordinate, but Ted and his family definitely have the same rights to make similar demands. Establishing a support network for parents to more easily supplement teachers' work (and creating a constant flow of communication between parents and teachers) helps create those bumpers Hometeacher talked about; if Anna had a tough/distracted day at school and did not pick up much or missed the homework, she only needs to consult the piece of paper. It creates a more structured routine - she sits through class, and at the end, takes the sheet to the teacher who writes in the correct notes. If her school has a finite window for changing classes, they may also need to give her an exemption for tardy class arrivals (if one teacher takes longer to write in the notes so it does not make her late to the next and subject to discipline). The teacher did not like it -she complained it was too much on her - but if it is written into the IEP, she does not have to like it; she just has to do it.

Toughing out this year is one thing, but if they're seeing warning signs that she is struggling now, they can brainstorm options to create a better support structure for her until the year passes. My heart goes out to the little lady, and know her family must be feeling frustrated and overstressed to find the right support. The above may not be exactly what she needs, but wanted to toss it out there as an example of structure they can work with the district to provide for Anna in the interim.