Clep College Composition Essay. Please help me by editing and rating clep essay.

[Getiton1]

Hi Anila,

Your heart is in the right place (you want to succeed). I doubt if I came to your country I could write in your native language very well. Here's a thought…you have only been here since 2011…I don't know your age…but when kids come here in grammar (grades 1-6), middle (7th and 8th grades) and High School (secondary school; or grades 9-12)…they have English as a Second Language (ESL) classes. Of course it's easier if you start learning a second tongue when you are very young. But I think your heart is in the right place and I can tell your focus is on getting a degree. So my advice would be:

1. Contact a few ESL (English as a Second Language) teachers. You might be lucky if you can talk to someone at a local high school, local collage or even if you have a community "Adult School". Many of these teachers offer low cost classes that help you improve your writing and your language skills.
2. Ask for advice from ESL teachers on:
a. Where they think you are at as far as proficiency
b. What your alternatives are to getting college credit
c. Who (which teachers in specific) might be good to take a college level English Comp class with.

I strongly agree with the other comments that the CLEP for composition would be too hard for you based on reading your samples of writing.

The only other help I can offer that helped me was this. Try writing a roman numeral Outline:

Intro: Short intro…think of this like a movie trailer…what's your paper about. Do I want to go see this movie (read this paper)?

I. Topic One (With citations from experts or relevant current info from reputable source Wikipedia does not count the majority of the time; but is good for your own background info).
a. Sub point (or example 1)
b. Sub point (or example 2)
c. Sub point (or example 3)

II. Topic Two (same as above, get some back up or interesting counters to your point to make your argument/case)
a. Sub point (or example 1)
b. Sub point (or example 2)
c. Sub point (or example 3)

III. Topic Three (same as above)
a. Sub point (or example 1)
b. Sub point (or example 2)
c. Sub point (or example 3)

(Note: Use opening statements and clincher or bridge sentences to smoothly move between topics in each area)

Conclusion:
Summarize your opening statement and then site all your points (I,II,II) with a few things you learned that make a difference to the topic at hand. For example, if your topic was how hard it was to raise a teenage daughter, then summarize what/why its hard and then state the guidance learned from studying or knowing more about this topic. Close with a sentence that brings it all home…this is sometimes easy and sometimes hard. Play with different ending sentences now while you have time to practice and ask American English speaking people you like an trust to give you feedback.
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Good Luck! Take the ESL adult school class for starters because it's usually super cheap (I think it's only 30.00 at my adult school) and someone at the adult school (a good ESL teacher) should be able to help you out. I really doubt many could scramble to pass COMP I and II as a non-native speaker who has only been here for 2 years. That's seriously a major mountain.

Hey, where are you from? I don't even know your native tongue to offer specific organizations. My brother was a linguist for a long time and he lives out in California. Even as a language PRO he needs time to develop an understanding of the rules of grammar and punctuation before be would even consider calling it an additional language mastered. I speak some French, but there is no way France would let me in with my terrible speech and grammar! My husband and I even had a private tutor for about a year and a half (the company I worked for was French), and I was not ready to take their ex-pat type entrance exam.

So give yourself a break…and give yourself time and a chance to pass. Talk to a professional who knows exactly how to get you from the 'not so great' level English to confident English in the shortest amount of time.

Again, best of luck!
Tara