Off topic: for any woman who has given birth

[cookderosa]

This is totally off topic, however, if you could just humor me for a few minutes I would be quite thankful.

I'd like to hear from the women who have gone through labor.- any kind of labor-even if it didn't end in a live birth. If this is you, I would love for you to think back for a few minutes and answer this question.
Please answer separately for each labor you have had if you have had more than one. Also, please do not disclose the details about your birth, rather just focus on the question. Thank you so much!


What were you afraid of before your labor?

[ZsaZsa]

1st time: afraid I would not recognize labor and would make a trip to the hospital and get sent home (embarassing!)
2nd time: KNEW WHAT LABOR WAS- and was only afraid of going home with a newborn, 2 year old, broken washing machine, air conditioner and water heater.
DH came through- and at least fixed the air conditioner and water heater before we left the hospital.

[sandraeli]

The thing I was most concerned about beforehand was that whatever pain management we chose would not work well for me (leftover fear from a years-earlier dental anesthesia "encounter").

Just a week before my son was born, another couple's baby died during delivery.

Will you fill us in on the results and your conclusion later?

[cookderosa]

The thing I was most concerned about beforehand was that whatever pain management we chose would not work well for me (leftover fear from a years-earlier dental anesthesia "encounter").

Just a week before my son was born, another couple's baby died during delivery.

Will you fill us in on the results and your conclusion later?

>>

No concluding, just collecting

[jadechow]

Hi Jennifer,
I've only had 1 child and my biggest fear for delivery was pain management. Would it be like in the movies - me screaming obscenities at my husband, him do the ridiculous "deep breathing" coaching, etc.

I did get an epidural but it "wore off" at some point during delivery so it still hurt like heck! But totally worth it. Thank God women forget what it's like in the delivery room after a while or else we'd be a world full of only children!

[P00057870]

Only had 1 but remember the fear of the unknown - you name it! Would I know when it was happening (yeah, laugh at that one), afraid of the pain and would it be managed. Elected not to have epidural because at that time they suggested you go natural. I was not brave enough for that but the doctor did not give me anything anyway until I was ready to deliver anyway. I was 30, so things were not as easy, I guess, as a younger woman would go through. I remember thinking this isn't so bad until they gave me a shot (pitocin, I think?) and then everything went into hyperdrive.

Other concerns: would I be a good mom, would my husband stick around (yes, he did - we've been married for 32 years), how would we get through finances, how would it change our lives. Boy what a worrier, I was. Cannot imagine not having my son in our lives.

One funny thing to share is remembering DH and doctor taking about fishing and getting very mad that they could be calmy discussing that while I was going through H_LL! Then the baby was born and had a birth mark at the same place DH did. I remember saying something nasty, like "you can't deny he's yours." :roflol: Amazing what we will say and do during such a stressful time.

[alissaroot]

I've only had one child, and he's only just turned two. My biggest concern was pain management, second concern was embarrassing stuff like pooping while pushing or having total strangers viewing my private parts. Third was breastfeeding, which turned out to be the most difficult and painful of all. Most of the advice I read on baby websites sounded like platitudes and just made me feel frustrated. I was so horrified at the thought of the pain I asked for a c-section but my doctor said no.




i'm including the details anyway, skip the next paragraph if you do not want to know what happened.



Turns out, I overdosed on Tums and ended up being hypercalcaemic, so with the epidural, I never felt any pain. I never felt a single contraction because with the epidural and I kept blacking out because of my hypercalcaemia. I barely remember giving birth at all, and I slept through my entire labor (I was induced 4 days after my due date). I had to be transferred to another hospital to have dialysis for a few days, and it wasn't until after the second dialysis session that my memory becomes really clear. I met my son when he was three days old. My local hospital thought I was a drug addict and wouldn't release him to me until it got cleared up that it was calcium overdose. It was the worst experience of my life, but I'm grateful my doctor figured out what was wrong with me. The nurses were total b*tches because they blamed my blackouts on drugs, and I do remember the comments they made about my mothering. Only one nurse seemed to understand something was really wrong with me, and called me later at home to check on me and told me she had held my son up to me when I blacked out while trying to breastfeed. I'm so glad she did that, so my sweet angel baby could get that.

It turns out that dialysis is also a way to quit smoking. I didn't smoke for about six months after having dialysis clean all the calcium and nicotine out of my blood, and never felt any withdrawal symptoms like when I've gone cold turkey or used nicotine supplements, which made me happy because of breastfeeding.

We're both fine now, though. I'll probably never have another child, but being a mom is the greatest thing I've ever done in my entire life, even though the birth part was horrible. My doctor later asked my permission to write a paper on my case. It's kinda funny that I've only had two health problems ever, and now I've shared them both on this forum. Actually, the calcium overdose is related to my hiatal hernia, since I used tums during my pregnancy instead of taking any kind of pills, for fear that it would hurt the baby. The OTC tums ended up being the worst thing I could've chosen to control my hiatal hernia/pregnancy heartburn.

[MomOfMany]

4 no and 5 yes afraids before labor

Not in that or any particuliar order.

I was afraid of repeating back labor.
I was afraid of another c/s.
I was afraid the epidural wouldn't work. Again.
I was afraid the drs wouldn't listen. Again.
I was afraid any number of things beyond my control and/or in my previous experience would happen.
I was afraid of not knowing what kind of care I would get.

I am tired of constantly having to fight for common sense for the individual to prevail over assembly line SOP for the masses.

[cookderosa]

Thank you all for sharing your very personal fears, this is very important to me. Please feel free to keep contributing!!!

[frankiebleyes]

1st time - 19 and scared to death, no family around and husband back then was not allowed to go in labor room with wife

2nd time - complications with pregnancy - result stillbirth at full term

3rd time - afraid of repeat from second pregnancy

4th time - knew what to expect (I thought, but he came a month early and had not dropped). Unexpected pregnancy (nightmare delivery -- staff put me in a closet for labor room as there were so many in labor and I had barely begun labor. I was 26, fully experienced and had my nursing license. What I went through made me a much more compasionate nurse, but I would not give the treatment I received to an animal much less a woman who had already lost one child, had a problem pregnancy and was a full month early in labor. Fortunately my son was born with only minor disabilities. When he developed mental illness as a young adult I often wondered if what happened in delivery could have contributed to his illness. The placenta was partially separated. Sorry, but this question is not an easy one to explain. No matter how much one knows, each pregnancy and woman are different.