Hard to Handle Birthdays?

[marianne202]

Today I'm 49 and it has hit me pretty hard. Last year was hard too, which is strange because I have never given birthdays much never mind. I'm not hung up on vanity age issues and I have never lied about my age, like many I know. Has anyone else suddenly hit a birthday that really hit them hard? Maybe its because the big 5-0 is getting so close. Maybe it is the realization that I probably only have about 1/3 of my life left, I don't know, but I'm trying to figure out why these two have been so hard to take. Although, as I type this I realize that just two years ago I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, so maybe that was a trigger for a mortality check and now my brain is keeping tabs. Either way, I hate feeling bad about getting older and the thought of being past my prime, although for me the last few years have felt like my prime. Has anyone else ever had a sudden change in how you perceive your age? What did you do to break the cycle?

[LaterBloomer]

Marianne, I've had no health issues, and the big 50 shook me up, too. Part of it is being 1/2 of a century, I suppose, and the rest is realizing that more of life is behind me than is ahead of me. I've just tried to take Marcus Aurelius' advice to heart.

Think of all the years passed by in which you said to yourself, "I'll do it tomorrow," and how the gods have again and again granted you periods of grace of which you have not availed yourself. It is time to realize that you are a member of the Universe, that you are born of Nature itself, and to know that a limit has been set to your time.

I'm trying to avail myself of everything now. No worrying if I'm too old, too fat, too whatever. If I want it, I'm going after it. Don't get in my way. If you resolve the issue in another way, let me know.

[OtherSyde]

Well I'm turning 29 in December, and wondering where the hell my 20's went... Mostly spent getting my crap together after a pseudo-wasted youth and a lot of missed opportunities. I think my 30's will be better since I'll be making more money and have higher prestige in life than most 20-somethings do, but I'm chronically shallow and judgmental and have no intention of looking old or scratched-up anytime soon, so I foresee a lot of mounting costs related to appearances and vanity. And kids at some point... Ugh. I keep wondering if I should just avoid procreating and live life for myself, but I'd be missing something either way I guess. I guess I'm just feeling pressure because it's coming to crunch-time.

[mrs.b]

For no particular reason, my birthday this year was an issue. It's not a big deal, and I know it, but turning 36 meant I could no longer vaguely say I was in my mid-thirties. Which is goofy since I do not think I ever answered that way. Still, for some reason, it bugged me.

Another age-related thing that bugged me is being carded. I have always looked young than my age; my parents used to get kid's menu discounts for me until I was in my late teens, and I used to have to undergo lengthy ID checks when I first turned 21 and went to bars. While I am admitting to a horrible habit, when I buy cigarettes for myself or my boss, I typically get carded. It used to annoy the crud out of me until I turned about 30, but now it gives me a boost when someone checks and then blushes or mumbles an apology. When someone does not, though, it bugs me to no end and I cannot wait to get in the car to check if my makeup or hair or clothes or something else is off. Logically, I know this also makes no sense. I think they card just about everyone these days so I highly doubt it is a sincere thought, but still. It's my weird quirk, and I claim it.

[frankiebleyes]

Don't worry about it. I was in my mid-thirties when I was first diagnosed with non-hodgins lymphoma. It kept recurring and I kept taking treatments for over ten years. By the end of that ten years I had aged looking fifty-five instead of forty-five. Then my son was diagnosed with mental illness and it took a tole, finally at 58 I had a maor heart attack (no doubt from the stress of caring for my son 24 7 with no help) and they found five leakages (after two strokes). Now I'm 62, look and feel my age and really don't care what others think. Enjoy your life, enjoy your health while you have it and don't waste time worrying about silly things like a date on a calendar. Just be you and enjoy yourself and your family and friends. Life is short but its only as short as you make it. Its meant for living not worrying about dying or getting too old.

[cookderosa]

Today I'm 49 and it has hit me pretty hard. Last year was hard too, which is strange because I have never given birthdays much never mind. I'm not hung up on vanity age issues and I have never lied about my age, like many I know. Has anyone else suddenly hit a birthday that really hit them hard? Maybe its because the big 5-0 is getting so close. Maybe it is the realization that I probably only have about 1/3 of my life left, I don't know, but I'm trying to figure out why these two have been so hard to take. Although, as I type this I realize that just two years ago I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, so maybe that was a trigger for a mortality check and now my brain is keeping tabs. Either way, I hate feeling bad about getting older and the thought of being past my prime, although for me the last few years have felt like my prime. Has anyone else ever had a sudden change in how you perceive your age? What did you do to break the cycle?

YES!! I drink wine, cheers milelol:
Ups and downs- I'm 42 and the oldest member of my family, everyone has passed on (it's been a tough decade, ending with my mom passing on Mother's Day in 09) and I think it puts things in a different light when people die. My birthday last month was crappy too, can't really say why, but I felt sad all day.

When you're young everything is in front of you, but when you've got some age, everything -or many things- are behind you. For me, I like to keep looking ahead. I do a lot of different things, set goals. I do, honestly, feel that life is very good and there is much to look ahead to. A quirk of mine is that I don't like looking back, I hate looking at home movies or photos, I don't save mementos or things that remind me of my youth when I had my family. I'm sure it's a mortality thing, but I find it too painful.

[marianne202]

Thanks everyone! I'm glad I'm not the only one that has had this happen. I have decided I'm going to try to make some changes / improvements going forward. I'm not going to go into my 50's without any regrets or without being at my best. If I'm going to have to get older, I might as well make the best of it. With luck maybe my 50's will be better than my 40's.

[Lindagerr]

When I turned 35 my Mother-in-law called to say Happy Birthday then asked me how it felt to be Middle Aged ! ! ! ! When I said I don't think 35 is middle aged she said well how long to you expect to live. Well it is now 23 years later and she is now 87 and still hanging in there. So I guess she was a little off on old age.

The point is Age is only what you make it. When I was your age I had young sons and I was so busy between work and family I never took the time to think about me. It took until I was 52 before I started thinking about me and my future. that is when I finally enrolled in TESC and started towards my 1st degree. so now instead of looking at the big 50 I am working on ignoring the coming of the big 60. I don't plan on slowing down, I don't plan on giving up. You have come a long way since the big 40 so just think how much better off you are.

Last month I went to an amusement park with my niece and I rode every roller coaster and water ride in the place. I climbed a million stairs and walked a million miles, but I did it and it didn't kill me. So don't let the numbers bother you. I have a mother who at 81 still lives alone, drives herself around, lifts what she wants and climbed and walked all over the Niagara falls area with me in June. On the other hand I have a friend who at 62 can't climb stairs "it is too hard and painful" and she can barely lift 10 pounds. When she came to Niagara falls we hardly saw anything because she tired so easily and walked so slow. So which one is older?

[29palms]

I remember half my life ago, at 25, I was out in the Indian Ocean on board vessels. I was in pretty good shape, had all of my hair. I remember jogging, swimming, playing flag football out there. By the time I hit 30, I pretty much saw a large part of the world. So here I am at 50, lost about three co-workers in a month's span. Heart attacks and one suicide. The travel never disappeared, and continously do so and in style with my wife, and have really seen alot more of the world, but I lost alot of my hair by now, and not as in great shape physically. Eat drink and be merry. That's what I say.

[ShotoJuku]

All I can say is this:

Everyday above ground is a good day! :iagree: