FMLA - Why is it so hard?

[MD_AJIBULU]

I'm trying to get my doc to disable me so I can take a month off from my stressful job. I mean, stressful, destroying me, ruining my mental health job. BUt it seems that people (like doctors) that do no experience the evil of 9 to 5 jobs and working under a tyrannical boss, do not understand how bad life is when you spend more time in a place you hate then you spend at home doing ANYTHING else.

I called to make an appointment but I cant get one until July...It sucks.

Mental health is real. and they'd rather prescribe you a pill that makes it so you can continue to do the thing that is killing you than write you a letter that says "MD_needs a break so that she can hug her husband without crying" (or whatever the symptom is)

Ugh.

[StoicJ]

I hope you get the break you need. What would happen if you just quit?

[ajs1976]

I can't help with the FMLA questions, but I understand the workplace stress part. Here are some things that are helping me and that I continue to work on.

exercise - HIIT, martial arts classes, and weight training for strength / mass. Things that push you to your physical limits for short periods of time, followed by steady slower activity, followed by another burst, etc. While steady state cardio and weight training for endurance can help with stress reduction, the other types have a greater impact. There is some brain chemistry science behind it. Ease into these, do your research.

music - I try to listen to music when I can at work. Filters out some of the nonsense and there is also a brain chemistry thing here too. Rock and classic rock with a good tempo work well for me. No power ballads. I also learned to avoid metal and industrial. Getting all pumped up to work on a computer all day was not a good combination.

Sleep - If I don't sleep well or don't get enough sleep, I go into work at a higher stress level.

Disconnect - When not working, I try to take breaks between checking email. If they need me, they will call or txt me.

Diet - If I eat crap, I feel like crap, and my stress level goes up. When dealing with high stress levels, I do get a short term gain from sugary or comfort foods, but the long term, cumulative results are not good and i'm trying to move away from that.

[DavidHume]

FMLA for stress is often difficult to get unless you can build a clear case.

Have you applied and been denied? Or were you stalled by not getting your primary care doctor to provide documentation? What appointment are you waiting for? (your own doctor, a new doctor, something else?)

It also helps to know if your employer handles FMLA directly through HR or if they have contracted an outside administrator (e.g. Sedgwick, Matrix, etc.) The outside administrators will have clearer criteria you can be prepared to demonstrate. Some examples might be increased blood pressure, insomnia, anxiety, demonstrable change in mood. It may actually be advisable to concentrate your claim on something like either insomnia, anxiety, or depression if applicable to you, as those are a little less nebulous claims.

Additionally, a claim for stress generally requires that it is impeding your ability to fulfill your job requirements. That most often is demonstrated by increased absences, but could conceivably be shown by lower productivity or quality.

A claim for stress would normally require more than one visit to a doctor, so you may want to explore if there is another more specific angle of mental health that could apply to your situation.

Also, does your employer offer some kind of "employee assistance program" that provides resources for mental health or life events (birth, marriage, death, relocation, etc.)? If so, there may be some assistance available there that could help with your FMLA claim.

[dfrecore]

If I had a tyrannical boss and a job that was killing me, I would be looking elsewhere for work. As a matter of fact, I had that once, and I don't think I cried more in my entire life as a whole than the 6 months at that terrible job. I got the heck out of there the minute I found something else.

[bjcheung77]

For me, it was a night vs day experience. The first two jobs were alright, I learned a bit over those two years in PC sales/customer service.
Then I moved on, I worked a job for 7.5 years and it was brutal, but it did give me the experience to get into my current position of 9 years.

Basically a night and day experience from a 7.5 year job at which I was practically looking for a new one on my probational 3 month period!
This current job, I've been loving it and don't think I'll ever be leaving, maybe do something on the side of things... make some extra cash...

[dewisant]

I used FMLA for most of my 30+ years career.

[cardiacclep]

I'm trying to get my doc to disable me so I can take a month off from my stressful job. I mean, stressful, destroying me, ruining my mental health job. BUt it seems that people (like doctors) that do no experience the evil of 9 to 5 jobs and working under a tyrannical boss, do not understand how bad life is when you spend more time in a place you hate then you spend at home doing ANYTHING else.

I called to make an appointment but I cant get one until July...It sucks.

Mental health is real. and they'd rather prescribe you a pill that makes it so you can continue to do the thing that is killing you than write you a letter that says "MD_needs a break so that she can hug her husband without crying" (or whatever the symptom is)

Ugh.

Working in healthcare as I do I can guarantee doctors know what stress is. Doctors are some of the most burned out occupations out there. Another issue is a doctor cannot just say write a note saying to give you time off unless it is truly needed as in a specific condition or else they face liability. I say this not to belittle your situation as I totally understand where you are coming from. Do what you can to find a new job as this one is not doing you any good.

[High_Order1]

Are you taking the right tack?

Will taking off a month solve the problem, or just give you a breather only to return to the same grindstone?

I know exactly what it is like to feel internally like you're driving with the emergency brake still on.

Around here, people get trapped in their jobs; they luck out and get a really good paying one, one they wouldn't get in the private sector. Their bosses know it too, and it creates a toxic dynamic. Lots of domestic violence and substance abuse.

Much as I like to poke at medical people, they know stress. I wouldn't want to trade places with a first year resident for a damn thing!

I don't know why most are so reticent to address mental health issues. I think it speaks to a greater undiscussed problem in the US, namely that of mental health period.

And I don't know why most companies don't do more for REAL employee wellness. For years I have told A level types that the better you treat the slaves the more you can whip them, but they just don't get it. I guess the era of bidirectional company loyalty has ended.

I pray you get the peace you so dearly seek (and need!). No preaching or advice from me; you know what you have to do, scary as it may be.

[davewill]

Are you having physical symptoms? Is there a treatment plan in place that will make a material difference in 30 days time? If you're just reporting stress and expecting a 30 day vacation to cure it, I can see why a doc wouldn't want to sign off. I'd suggest consulting a psychiatrist to see if he can help you. You need to find a way to deal with the problem in the long run.

If the job is the stressor and you can't change the job so there's less stress and you can't change yourself so that you can better deal with it, there's no cure but to leave the job and never return. Before you dismiss that notion, think...stress can be a killer.