Am I helpful?

[cookderosa]

When I reply or contribute to a thread, I hope my contribution is helpful. In my case, it's the reason I reply.
When press "reply" I have a small conversation with myself. It goes something like this:

Am I contributing to the thread by answering this person's question?
Am I providing a point of view that is helpful to their situation?
Do I have documents, links, book titles, or other external resources that might make their problem easier for them to solve?
After they read my answer, have I given them some direction so they can make this next step on their own?

If all of those answers are yes, it's usually all good. But, like anyone, there are potential ways that I can ruin my level of helpfulness, so I try to be sure I'm not:

typing in all caps, bold, or underline too much- daily.
over-using multi-quotes.
replying to every. post. in. the. thread as if no one else has anything to add.
becoming invested in convincing others of my opinion instead of sharing my point of view.
using bully or bossy phrases like "you should..." instead of informative phrases like "I have.... or I like to..."
assigning myself the job of editing and correcting the posts in the forum

Why does it matter?

It matters because when you light someone's fire, you won't have to direct and correct them on every little tiny detail of every little tiny nuance of every little thing- they've got the excitement and motivation to figure that part out on their own; they'll drive their own boat.
And 100% of the people on this forum who already have an undergraduate degree and are STILL HERE were encouraged and supported by this forum enough to not only figure it out for themselves, but to overflow with gratitude enough to stick around and usher other people through the process. That's a special quality you won't find everywhere, but this forum is typically a positive place where lifting up is more common than stepping on.

So, when I sign in today or tomorrow, I'm not wondering if I was right, I'm wondering if my OP was encouraged by my answer, because that's how I know I'm doing the real right thing.... and that's really the only thing worth worrying about, IMO.

[rebel100]

Wonderfully put, as usual....

[ajs1976]

If the site would allow me, I would like this post about 8,000 times.

[bricabrac]

Well said Cook, well said!

[bluebooger]

some of your posts are helpful
some are not

I once made a post and said you had a lot of knowledge of online science courses and online science labs --- how they compare, their costs, they're difficulty, and how they are viewed and accepted by nursing and med schools

I said it would be wonderful if you could start a thread and post all that information in one easy to find place and maybe we could get it stickyed
it would be so helpful to so many people

you replied and told me you had already put some of that information in different posts
you told me search the forums

not very helpful

and totally defeats the purpose of what I was asking for

[sanantone]

some of your posts are helpful
some are not

I once made a post and said you had a lot of knowledge of online science courses and online science labs --- how they compare, their costs, they're difficulty, and how they are viewed and accepted by nursing and med schools

I said it would be wonderful if you could start a thread and post all that information in one easy to find place and maybe we could get it stickyed
it would be so helpful to so many people

you replied and told me you had already put some of that information in different posts
you told me search the forums

not very helpful

and totally defeats the purpose of what I was asking for

A lot of longtime members have made posts or supported posts that are offensive to people of a certain race/ethnicity, sex, political persuasion, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc or made snarky comments to someone seeking help because of their impatience with "dumb questions." As long as people can admit they aren't angels, it is fine for people to not be perfect. It becomes a problem when people in glass houses throw stones. I can admit that my way of speaking is very blunt, and I have no fear of correcting people. Sensitive people get offended by that. Oh well. There is a lot worse out there and on this forum.

[KittenMittens]

some of your posts are helpful
some are not

I once made a post and said you had a lot of knowledge of online science courses and online science labs --- how they compare, their costs, they're difficulty, and how they are viewed and accepted by nursing and med schools

I said it would be wonderful if you could start a thread and post all that information in one easy to find place and maybe we could get it stickyed
it would be so helpful to so many people

you replied and told me you had already put some of that information in different posts
you told me search the forums

not very helpful

and totally defeats the purpose of what I was asking for

I think that person is directing that "advice" towards me. There's a herd mentality on the forums where some very active users believe that their methods are the only way to do so and if you challenge them they get very upset and call for censorship (tyranny of the masses as they say ). You mentioned how you were stigmatized for asking a simple question. I too have been stigmatized for contending that TESC's TECEP plans are not that great (and a recent poster in this subform complained about the same thing calling to ban me which is pretty extreme for uttering an opinion, no?). I've fairly and openly considered the pros/cons of different programs through different schools considering I've applied to all 3 of the schools, and I keep my replies fair, neutral, and objective as possible in the face of previously racist, sexist comments and calls to censor me for disagreeing with a few vocal members around here.

Everyone is entitled to have an opinion, but providing solid evidence to buttress those arguments is even better. They may inevitably offend some people, or may not jibe well with some people, but that's inevitable. Unfortunately, like you've experienced, this forum has not been too welcoming compared to ones like reddit, collegeconfidential, and SDN, as people here (particularly very vocally religious-leaning) have made arguments based on emotion and not so much on logic and reason (in my personal experience). A big reason for that is due to a tiny vocal minority that tends to stick to one mindset which has some major flaws (i.e. the advice thrown around here is to typically go to TESC and go for the 8 exam TECEP degree which has some major disadvantages as evidenced by a recent thread here by user: Charismo).

When I write, I'm not here to write for any of the vocal and active users around here, but for the lurkers, newcomers, and anyone trying to assess all their options. I speak with confidence because I know what I'm saying is grounded on solid reasoning, and evidence. I share my experiences because of the lack of information and how I believe some students may be incorrectly being directed into degrees/programs without considering all the advantages, risks, and disadvantages of doing so. For instance, there exists a blatant bias towards directing students towards TESC for reasons that I & others who have implicitly suggested considered inadequate (i.e. heavy use of TECEP exams when there are a general lack of prep materials for them).

In any case, it's a little condescending to have to point out the obvious. If you want this forum to be about holding each others hands, and feeling good about yourself, then that's fine, and everyone should be entitled to respect and civil with each other, but that shouldn't preclude those of us who are looking to sort out the wheat from the chaff, nor do we need to be told how to behave for simply expressing our opinions that may go against the grain. There are some massive egos around here who are trying to proof by any means that their way is the only way (I don't make that claim even if it comes across that way), and all forms of civility go down the drain once you go against the herd. Freedom of speech until it disagrees with a vocal minority :o

[SwaggyP]

All of the long time contributors on this forum have been immensely helpful in my experience. 99.99% of all my initial questions and concerns were found using the search function, and the usual crew of of consistent and helpful members are found in those threads, and when the same question is asked again, they again respond with the same valid information. I do think people, especially those starting out in the process, need opinions and feedback from the veterans, it makes life easier imo. There's a reason this site is the best resource for people looking to time efficiently and cost-effectively complete their degree, and it's the members that continue to help others that make it so.

[AngelaP]

I understand where you are coming from with that bluebooger (eww) and think it could be presented in a nicer way. If the person doesn't have time at the moment, say, "Hey, I don't have time search XYX" or something. There are a lot of people that come through here and it can be quite confusing at times. I don't believe anyone has "dumb questions" or else they wouldn't ask them. I know I have asked questions in the past and was chastised for it, told to go search, etc. I had actually done all that and couldn't find my answer and thought I was missing something. You know the saying, the only dumb question is one not asked? I firmly believe that. We are all here for the same reason, well most of us :-) However, we are all people and fallible. However, when the purpose is just to instigate . . . . that is another matter entirely. Most people are here for the right reasons and are helpful most of the time, which is why we all keep coming back.

[AngelaP]

Why do you keep referencing herd mentality? Really? I see you continuously shoving your viewpoint on nearly every thread that comes across. And where is this vocally religious-leaning coming from? If this board has some many flaws, you feel unwelcomed, and others are better, why are you here? You continuously try to spar with sanantone who has been here for a very long time and you just joined when? (Jan 2015) If you have something beneficial to add, that is wonderful, add it. However, there is no need to instigate, which is exactly what you do using a very fine line.

I think that person is directing that "advice" towards me. There's a herd mentality on the forums where some very active users believe that their methods are the only way to do so and if you challenge them they get very upset and call for censorship (tyranny of the masses as they say ). You mentioned how you were stigmatized for asking a simple question. I too have been stigmatized for contending that TESC's TECEP plans are not that great (and a recent poster in this subform complained about the same thing calling to ban me which is pretty extreme for uttering an opinion, no?). I've fairly and openly considered the pros/cons of different programs through different schools considering I've applied to all 3 of the schools, and I keep my replies fair, neutral, and objective as possible in the face of previously racist, sexist comments and calls to censor me for disagreeing with a few vocal members around here.

Everyone is entitled to have an opinion, but providing solid evidence to buttress those arguments is even better. They may inevitably offend some people, or may not jibe well with some people, but that's inevitable. Unfortunately, like you've experienced, this forum has not been too welcoming compared to ones like reddit, collegeconfidential, and SDN, as people here (particularly very vocally religious-leaning) have made arguments based on emotion and not so much on logic and reason (in my personal experience). A big reason for that is due to a tiny vocal minority that tends to stick to one mindset which has some major flaws (i.e. the advice thrown around here is to typically go to TESC and go for the 8 exam TECEP degree which has some major disadvantages as evidenced by a recent thread here by user: Charismo).

When I write, I'm not here to write for any of the vocal and active users around here, but for the lurkers, newcomers, and anyone trying to assess all their options. I speak with confidence because I know what I'm saying is grounded on solid reasoning, and evidence. I share my experiences because of the lack of information and how I believe some students may be incorrectly being directed into degrees/programs without considering all the advantages, risks, and disadvantages of doing so. For instance, there exists a blatant bias towards directing students towards TESC for reasons that I & others who have implicitly suggested considered inadequate (i.e. heavy use of TECEP exams when there are a general lack of prep materials for them).

In any case, it's a little condescending to have to point out the obvious. If you want this forum to be about holding each others hands, and feeling good about yourself, then that's fine, and everyone should be entitled to respect and civil with each other, but that shouldn't preclude those of us who are looking to sort out the wheat from the chaff, nor do we need to be told how to behave for simply expressing our opinions that may go against the grain. There are some massive egos around here who are trying to proof by any means that their way is the only way (I don't make that claim even if it comes across that way), and all forms of civility go down the drain once you go against the herd. Freedom of speech until it disagrees with a vocal minority :o