Why You Shouldn’t Network In College (or ever really)

[freeloader]

I think the author is setting up networking as a sort of straw man. What is is really saying is don’t do networking BADLY. Don’t spend all of your time trying to cast the widest possible net collecting the great possible number of highly superficial connections. I agree with that and I willingly concede that such activity is often a waste of time, effort, and money. But is that all that “networking” is?

A counselor at my undergraduate institution gave a talk on networking that I attended. She said networking is a lot like dating.  There are interactions like speed dating and chatting up people at bars which are not likely to turn into anything.  There are unrequited admirations that never turn into anything. And there are meaningful connections, which may well come from chatting up a person in a bar so to speak, that turn into a long-term relationship, whether it be with an intimate partner or an employer.

This author is basically saying don’t speed date because it is self serving and doesn’t lead to anything. I reject this premise as the person on the other side of the speed dating table is often looking for something as well. Markets, in all of their manifestations, only work because people operate out of self-interest. A self-interested 20 year old in all likelihood is talking to another self-interested 20 year old. The hope is that when one of them is a 24 year old they can put in a good word for an acquaintance and hopefully help that 24 year old get a job. What, exactly, is wrong with that?

I would liken the speed dating analogy to a lot of “networking” with peers, including on college campuses. If someone goes to a speed dating event and doesn’t walk away with any subsequent dates/matches, they have failed. So too with college networking. If you have said hello to all 20,000 people at your campus, but none of them know you, you likely have achieved nothing. If some of those hellos turn into relationships, then you might well have something.  THAT, my friends, is what GOOD networking is.

But, what of the author taking about having conversations with Elon Musk and other people of prominence and stature?  Well, I do not think the author is being nearly so insightful as they think they are. Wealthy, successful people engage in market transactions just like the rest of us!  But, what could a college student possible offer Elon Musk, you ask?  He is perhaps the wealthiest person in the world, after all. Exactly!  His market transactions (and those of other prominent, wealthy individuals) are, ironically, much less likely to be driven by money than the interactions that I had with my college “network”. Elon Musk doesn’t need this kid’s money. He doesn’t need a good word with HR or the GM a few years down the road. Elon Musk needs affirmation. He needs adoration. He needs not only to be the best, but also needs to be the type of person who can identify and support the best in younger generations. Perhaps like a certain author….  If Elon Musk was getting nothing from his relationship with the author, he simply wouldn’t respond. Period.

The author is saying don’t play checkers, play chess. Fair enough. Except, and let’s be honest here, there are plenty of people who aren’t smart enough or driven enough to play chess. And there are people who hate chess. Not everybody wants to be Gary Kasparov.  A lot of us are perfectly happy to win checkers almost all the time when we play our friends and family.