Hard to Handle Birthdays?

[marianne202]

Today I'm 49 and it has hit me pretty hard. Last year was hard too, which is strange because I have never given birthdays much never mind. I'm not hung up on vanity age issues and I have never lied about my age, like many I know. Has anyone else suddenly hit a birthday that really hit them hard? Maybe its because the big 5-0 is getting so close. Maybe it is the realization that I probably only have about 1/3 of my life left, I don't know, but I'm trying to figure out why these two have been so hard to take. Although, as I type this I realize that just two years ago I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, so maybe that was a trigger for a mortality check and now my brain is keeping tabs. Either way, I hate feeling bad about getting older and the thought of being past my prime, although for me the last few years have felt like my prime. Has anyone else ever had a sudden change in how you perceive your age? What did you do to break the cycle?