Help...I Need Refocused & Some Positive Energy!!!

[marianne202]

Ok, so I have been going wide open for 3.5 years and I think it has finally caught up with me. I foolishly decided to do a grad cert after my MHA and now I took 3 courses over the summer, in a condensed semester, and I have my finals starting tomorrow. I just want to curl up in a ball and well ball my eyes out! I took 3 classes so I would only have my internship and capstone to do in the fall, plus I'm off over the summer. Well add to my classes a family reunion out of town and my parents visiting for 3 wks and my summer is gone. I also found out that while I thought I would finish the grad cert by Dec. they just decided in April to break up their capstone over two semesters so I won't finish until next May. UGH! My brain just won't focus and I find myself just counting the days until the semester is over. Now I have to start back to work on Monday and I certainly don't feel like I can pull it all off! I just feel like I've reached my breaking point! Any suggestions on how to get over this hump? I have plugged away pretty good until now, but with all my other responsibilities of kids at home, work committees and professional association committees I'm feeling snowed under and I can't get out of any of them until next summer - except the kids and work...that will go on forever!

Come on you great wizards of wisdom help me get out of this spiraling slide!

[cookderosa]

cut your list right away woman! Aim for a "B" and do the minimum to get out of this alive. My last semester was soooo friggginnnn loonnngggg I could hardly stand it. It literally was long, I think 18 weeks. Anyway, my final paper ended up being such a thorn in my side. I cut the length 2 pages and figured I'd take the deduction. Anyway, and I sound like a b*tch when I say this, but I got an A- in that class. I never get a minus, lol, even though I knew I literally didn't turn in A work, it was a pride issue. Now, in retrospect, seriously, an A-? Who the heck cares. But we sometimes chase stuff, which in the moment seems important but is probably just our own OCD /personality compelling us to over-do it.

I'd inquire about the capstone fwiw, I don't think they can change your degree requirements, but that may not be what they did, I don't know. I'd still complain.

In other news.... isn't there an expression about "moving your goalpost?" I do it to, just sayin' We probably don't have to get ALLLLLL the degrees available.

[ryoder]

Yeah just get by with a B and cancel some of the family plans. Thats what I do. Friends ask for me to come out for the weekend or go on some mini-vacation and I tell them no politely. When the parents visit tell them you will not be their personal chef and entertainer in chief for their stay. Encourage them to see the local sights and eat out.

I always consider the TMAI option. Throw money at it. Pay someone to take care of the lawn, get takeout or frozen food, take a day off work etc.

Good luck.

[OE800_85]

Also, downtime is an important part of effective uptime, if you follow me. Take at least a little time to enjoy yourself.

I'm currently doing 3 courses at TESC and working 4 days a week. On those 3 days (and occasionally the other 4 days) I'll put in some hard work, but I won't sacrifice my sleep, I won't deny myself a couple breaks now and then (thank god for NFL Gamepass and Olympics highlights), and I'll try my best to move around a bit and eat well.

I think when we study we often forget about good sleep, breaks, exercise, and diet. For me, if I do these things, I'm much more efficient and can get much more done. Perhaps you'll find time for your family. If not, then I'm sure they'll understand your priorities

[marianne202]

Thanks everyone! I took one final this morning and just finished my last assignment for one class. The homework for my summer classes is all done, two finals to go. I get one week off then the fall term begins, but hopefully since they have split their capstone into two semester it won't be too much writing and my internship should be fun...I hope. I'm bummed about not finishing until spring, but what can I do at this point. I asked if I could finish my capstone early, but they said no, since it is actually linked to a class that isn't offered until spring, I can't submit it early. I'm telling myself this is chance to give myself some breathing room. My Dad's heart tests came back yesterday better than expected, so his heart surgery scheduled for this month is postponed. I'm still not ready for work to start on Monday, but unless I win the lottery, or you all want to support me, I have to go back! I just had a deadline for a distance learning class I'm developing moved up to 8/7 instead of 8/17, so it just never ends. I'm just ready to be done with the crazy, hectic cycle so May can't come fast enough for me!

Cook, if you see a crazy women running along the interstate in NC with her hair on fire it is probably me! Honk and wave as you go by!

[mrs.b]

Oh Marianne, even frustrated, your accomplishments make me feel like such a slacker. hilarious Three summer-term graduate classes, plus substantial family, work, and professional commitments?

It's a lot by anyone's standards. We like to say you're a Superwoman (and in reality, I know you are, and this post is just a text version of a cover alter identity, but your secret is safe with me!), but you are still human (wink). Take it one day at a time, one assignment, work day, and appointment at a time. Work and family need our best efforts, but is there any way to back off a bit on the professional association commitments? If any other family intend to make long visits, perhaps suggest they cut it shorter and plan a longer one after you're done next May? Family should understand that you have fought hard for your education, and not want to place additional burdens on your already taxed time. That is all I could suggest; I know you're already a professional multitasker and time manager, but there are only 24 hours and 7 days. Like Cookderosa said...I think it was you that responded to one of my "oh no, what have I done?!" posts with a gentle reminder that moving the goalpost is not the end of the world if it maintains sanity in the long run.

Either way, you'll get through it like a rock star degree-earning superhero. Deep breath, maybe take a weekend day (I know, a whole day!) away from any obligations - work, books, or major family - for a mental reset. Breaks, even short ones, are great for resetting the burn-out meter.

[marianne202]

Mrs. B thanks for the smile! You are not a slacker! I'm not a rock-star, trust me spandex and I don't get along!! I'm trying to tick things off my list so I can dive in to work starting Monday. I also decided to take tomorrow off...kinda. I have a final exam in the morning, then we are going to spend some family time together for my daughter's birthday. I decided we all needed to spend some quality time together. I'm stuck in my commitments to various committees and organizations until next year. Although, I did say no to a request the other night to serve on the band boosters board at my daughters high school. It killed me to say no because they really, really need help and she is just starting high school, but I decided to just help out the best I could without committing to a board position. It's just times like this that I wish I had done my schooling when I was young so that I could be enjoying helping out now. I told them next year I would step up and do more. Saying no isn't in my vocabulary when it comes to helping or volunteering. That is why I'm stuck now, so I'm starting to use it little by little. Thanks again and while it seems like May is a long way away I know it will fly by and I'm hoping a lighter academic load in the fall and spring will make it go even faster and easier. I do know that once this is done, I'm done! Thanks again!

[cookderosa]

I'm not a rock-star, trust me spandex and I don't get along!!

THIS is why we're peeps Marianne!!!! Because when someone says "rockstar" you and I think spandex

(To the young people, rockstars used to wear spandex and get perms, it's just one of those things.....)

[jmichelle79]

I dont' have any advice that hasn't been posted already. Sending you giant ((Hugzz)). Your drive is amazing, you will get through this.

On a side note Jennifer -- (To the young people, rockstars used to wear spandex and get perms, it's just one of those things.....)
I'm not that young, but when I read this I thought of the Goblin King from Labyrinth. hilarious

[LaterBloomer]

Marianne, if any part of what is contributing to your feelings of being overwhelmed is the change of graduation date, LET IT GO. What will you get or lose by the completion date being changed? Unless it's world-changing, it's only a goal you've set for yourself. Don't make it a bar you're trying to hurdle, or it will just trip you up.

As for doing the degree thing when you were younger? Yeah, wouldn't it have been nice if we all did that? Look, however, at what you're showing your daughter. Education is important, and that it is also a life-long journey. Prioritization is an important skill. Look to others for help. These are all skills that your daughter is learning from you. You're not just a great forum-friend, but you're a mother who is modeling skills that your daughter will use for a life time. Pretty impressive if you ask me.