Dating a Wimp

[sanantone]

1. He doesn't like CNN. He only watched it for the airplane coverage. He normally watches Fox.
2. The government has nothing to do with his upbringing.
3. I don't know why he's afraid of guns, so I won't make assumptions.
4. He's definitely not a feminist.
5. Common sense shouldn't be taught in universities. They have more important things to worry about. He should have had common sense by the time he got out of high school.
6. I don't see the connection between him being afraid of my dog and being pro-choice and for eugenics.

As a black woman, I don't attract too many men at gun ranges.

[sanantone]

Oops, I was wrong about him attending a state university. I thought he said TSU, but he said TCU. It's a private university.

[taylor]

Girlfriends with guns??? LOL he's probably too afraid to break up with you. If you break up with him he'll probably be like, "Whew! Thank God!" He probably felt more like a hostage than a boyfriend anyway. And you're probably one of those city slickers who can twirl the trigger on your index finger like a Harlem Globe Trotter before you shoot your target. That probably freaked him out even more. There could only be one right person in this relationship and the other person is called the boyfriend =)

[sanantone]

It's Texas! Many women have guns here. A lot of men here encourage their girlfriends and wives to learn how to shoot. I've come across men who've expressed frustration over trying to get their women to carry. One of the most liberal persons I have ever met was a former student of mine. She didn't want to own a gun, but even she wanted to learn how to shoot one. I guess we're just a little different down here, but we're still not on Arizona's level.

[UptonSinclair]

You should be able to end your relationship pretty quickly. Just show him this thread.

[sanantone]

I already told him that we should just be friends. I just can't be attracted to a man so lacking in testosterone.

[soliloquy]

I'm not sure what the allure is in keeping him around as a friend either. It doesn't seem from your posts like you even like him or have anything in common.

[taylor]

I already told him that we should just be friends. I just can't be attracted to a man so lacking in testosterone.

Hey don't overestimate testosterone. Sometimes you don't know how a wimpy guy will react when backed in a corner. Case in point, I had this older scrawny cousin who bossed me around for years. Finally when I was in HS and he was in college enough was enough and we had our first and only physical confrontation. I saw the fear in his eyes because he was going to get a beat down by his younger relative. But what happened next was unfathomable. He proceeded to give me a purple nurple. Initially when he grabbed my nipple in his vise grip I started verbally threatening him to let go or else but then he was sooo cynical he twisted even harder to the point tears started flowing from my eyeballs. I was so caught off guard by his unorthodox fighting style and was in too much pain to even retaliate at that point. All I wanted to do was go to my room and nurse my bruised ego and ice my bruised chest. So yeah I got my a$$ whooped by a guy that was half wimp half crustacean.

[sanantone]

Hey don't overestimate testosterone. Sometimes you don't know how a wimpy guy will react when backed in a corner. Case in point, I had this older scrawny cousin who bossed me around for years. Finally when I was in HS and he was in college enough was enough and we had our first and only physical confrontation. I saw the fear in his eyes because he was going to get a beat down by his younger relative. But what happened next was unfathomable. He proceeded to give me a purple nurple. Initially when he grabbed my nipple in his vise grip I started verbally threatening him to let go or else but then he was sooo cynical he twisted even harder to the point tears started flowing from my eyeballs. I was so caught off guard by his unorthodox fighting style and was in too much pain to even retaliate at that point. All I wanted to do was go to my room and nurse my bruised ego and ice my bruised chest. So yeah I got my a$$ whooped by a guy that was half wimp half crustacean.

He might defend himself when backed into a corner, but he has no intention to defend anyone else.

[mrs.b]

He might defend himself when backed into a corner, but he has no intention to defend anyone else.

My step-mom is a wise woman. She once told me (coincidentally after a breakup with someone that sounds remarkably similar to your now-Ex) that the first two months of a relationship are telling. If you spot flaws in a new boy/girlfriend that you think about for longer than a few minutes while with them, or at all after you're not around them, that the relationship is not meant to be. Her reasoning is that the early stages of a relationship are the "honeymoon" stages where everyone is moon-eyed and flaws are harder to see. Also, some people tend to be on their best "dating" behavior early on and keep the big stuff hidden. If problems are visible that early, she always said to get out while friendship is still possible, or at least no feelings despite the flaws develop so it's cleaner.

Edited to add: The reverse side of that is it teaches the practitioner of the advice how to dismiss the small stuff. i.e., "I really like this guy, BUT...[insert tiny issue here]." If one really, truly likes the person, the tiny issue will be easy to push out of mind. If not, if the issue lingers and becomes a focus, the relationship is not going to work; either the problem is too big, or the practitioner needs to work harder on letting the small stuff go before being ready for a relationship. The same practice proceeds into longer-term relationships; push the small stuff out of mind, but if the issue lingers in our focus, it is time for a conversation so as not to hold onto the little problems until they become so focus-engrossing that a small problem becomes a deal-breaker.

She also said sticking around just to see, or sticking around and complaining about someone makes us a glutton for punishment or a martyr/victim type, of which neither personality trait will be appealing to someone actually worthwhile that might come along later.

Glad to see you trimmed someone out that was clearly not for you. I'm not sure how long you two dated, but seems like the differences were not workable. I hope you have better luck in the dating pool moving forward!