+- Online Degrees and CLEP and DSST Exam Prep Discussion (https://www.degreeforum.net/mybb)
+-- Forum: Miscellaneous (https://www.degreeforum.net/mybb/Forum-Miscellaneous)
+--- Forum: Off Topic (https://www.degreeforum.net/mybb/Forum-Off-Topic)
+--- Thread: Dating a Wimp (/Thread-Dating-a-Wimp)
Dating a Wimp - sanantone - 09-13-2014
I started dating this guy who works at my university. He got his bachelor's degree at a state university, but he's working on a master's degree at Full Sail University. I know this school has a decent reputation in the film industry, but he's getting a degree in journalism. The school is expensive and nationally accredited. The school is so expensive that his parents are helping him with the tuition. I should have dumped him then. He actually sat there and watched CNN's ridiculous 24/7 coverage of Malaysian Flight 370 whenever he could as long as CNN was covering it. That should have been an indication of his intelligence right there.
But, what really bothers me about the guy is that he's a wimp. He's afraid of guns, which is bizarre for someone who has been in Texas since childhood, but I can deal with that. He's afraid of mice. I told him that my apartment complex had negative reviews in the past complaining about mice. He said that if he saw a mouse in my apartment that he would be the first one out the door. What's the point of having a man around if he can't take care of a mouse? It gets worse, though. I was talking about being able to defend a girlfriend or wife if she's attacked. He told me that he wouldn't defend his woman because he's not risking getting his butt kicked, but he'd be the first one to dial 911 and ask the attacker if he could please stop. WHAT? So, if some guy is robbing me, raping me, or physically assaulting me, I can expect him to just stand there. Besides being a pedophile, a rapist, or having sex with animals, I think that might be the most repulsive thing a man could do.
Dating a Wimp - Jonathan Whatley - 09-13-2014
Points for honesty. Now, should points for honesty in the response to the attack scenario accumulate in some column toward 'pursuing a relationship with him?' No.
Do remember how much mild-mannered people can surprise when push comes to shove â Beware the Nice Ones. But this doesn't sound like a great example in the making.
Dating a Wimp - Johann - 09-13-2014
sanantone Wrote:...That should have been an indication of his intelligence right there. But, what really bothers me about the guy is that he's a wimp.
Some might say you have it backwards.
Wimp - should bother you.
Low intelligence - should REALLY bother you.
Either way around - same decision. Cars, computers and boyfriends can all give you problems -- and if necessary, you can easily get another one.
Johann
Dating a Wimp - sanantone - 09-13-2014
Maybe intelligence isn't the right word to use. He probably just lacks common sense and is easily drawn in by sensationalism in the media. He was even worried about my dog. Before he first came to my apartment, I told him that she was a 60 lb Labrador Retriever, Boxer, German Shepherd, and American Staffordshire Terrier mix. His response: sounds vicious. He did come over and discovered that she is the opposite of vicious, but even his dog is a wimp. His dog is afraid of big dogs, so I guess we can't do things together with our dogs.
I still think I'm right in being very bothered by the fact that he would just stand there if I were being attacked. I sometimes carry concealed and have taken a defensive tactics course. I don't want to be the man in the relationship. Even with those things, I'm not going to be as strong as most men. He has the audacity to call himself athletic. At least people often can't help low intelligence, and it won't be as much as a safety concern as a guy who is afraid to fight when necessary. When you can't escape a situation, your best chance of survival is to fight.
Dating a Wimp - SteveFoerster - 09-13-2014
I agree that it speaks poorly of him that he's a poor financial decision maker and thinks the best use of his time is to bask in the glare of junk media. But the only thing you really need to know is that he wouldn't help you defend yourself against someone who was attacking you for fear of getting beaten, because he's explicitly telling you that he cares more about himself than he does about you. Bzzzzt, sorry, but thanks for playing.
Dating a Wimp - Lindagerr - 09-13-2014
I think it is time to look for a new boyfriend. I haven't heard you say one positive thing about this guy. It seems if you did a pros and cons of continuing the relationship the cons would far out way the pros.
Does he know you carry? Does that freak him out. If he was being attacked would he expect you to just call 911 or would he expect you to put your life on the line to support him?
Of course I have never met you but, you always sound like a caring, giving person who deserves much better in a boyfriend
Dating a Wimp - soliloquy - 09-13-2014
It's been my experience (from observation) that men tell you exactly who they are. The problem is that women for whatever reason dismiss those admissions and decide they can train him or make him something other than what he has already confessed to being. So, my suggestion is believe him when he says who he is and decide if that's something you can live with. If not, walk away before things get any more complicated.
Dating a Wimp - sanantone - 09-13-2014
SteveFoerster Wrote:I agree that it speaks poorly of him that he's a poor financial decision maker and thinks the best use of his time is to bask in the glare of junk media. But the only thing you really need to know is that he wouldn't help you defend yourself against someone who was attacking you for fear of getting beaten, because he's explicitly telling you that he cares more about himself than he does about you. Bzzzzt, sorry, but thanks for playing.
I think you might be on to something. Not only is he a wimp, but he might be selfish. He got out of a long-term relationship not too long ago, so for him to not know what it feels like to want to protect a significant other is concerning.
He didn't need to attend Full Sail. Any degree related to communications or marketing would have sufficed. He chose Full Sail because he specifically wanted a degree in New Media Journalism, not just journalism. He's not even in the journalism field; he's in public relations. I'm sure if he would have looked at the curricula of programs with traditional titles, he would have found that they cover the Internet and social media. He's nearly 30 years old; his parents shouldn't be helping him with this degree. It makes me wonder if he was spoiled as a child.
The reason why he is getting the degree is because he wants to become the director of his department. I asked him if the current director is retiring. He responded that, no, the director is not retiring. He is going to try to push the director out because he sucks at his job. I know many people have bosses, and they wish they would get fired, but to get a master's degree because you're so certain that you can push someone out sounds kind of sinister.
Lindagerr Wrote:I think it is time to look for a new boyfriend. I haven't heard you say one positive thing about this guy. It seems if you did a pros and cons of continuing the relationship the cons would far out way the pros.
Does he know you carry? Does that freak him out. If he was being attacked would he expect you to just call 911 or would he expect you to put your life on the line to support him?
Of course I have never met you but, you always sound like a caring, giving person who deserves much better in a boyfriend
He's fine with me carrying as long as I don't bring my gun inside his apartment. I don't think he would expect me to protect him, but I didn't ask. I did specifically ask him if he would protect his woman if she were being raped. Again, he stated that he wouldn't get physically involved.
The good things are that he has a car, his own place, a profession, an education, no criminal record, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink (I only expect that the guy not be a heavy drinker), and doesn't have children by multiple women. That was hard to find when I lived in San Antonio. But, yeah, it is time to find a new boyfriend. Thanks.
Dating a Wimp - cookderosa - 09-13-2014
I think you're right, kick him to the curb.
Dating a Wimp - AkaiOkami - 09-14-2014
1) watched CNN's ridiculous 24/7 coverage of Malaysian Flight 370 (thank leftism)
2) he's a child (thank big government)
3) afraid of guns (thank war on guns)
4) wouldn't defend his woman (thank feminism/war on women)
5) lacks common sense (thank common senses not taught in academia nor the common household these days)
6) worried about my dog (devalued belief in human life, thank pro-abortion and eugenics and others)
Sanantone, the guy you are dating worships at the alter of leftism. His religion of leftism comes before everything else. Changing his political beliefs will require massive amounts of energy. From your descriptions, there is a hint that his parents are the same. He is scared of guns but, okay with them enough to be with you until he gets back to the security of his cave. That is one compromise down. This shows change is possible but, again will require massive amounts of energy to get to the point where you will be happy with him. If you are not willing to invest in the copious amount of energy needed to change him, then find someone else, which you seem ready to. Do not look in universities for dating, they are just re-education camps for leftism. And no, I am not saying look in the churches. There is currently a religious revival going on to purge the churches of hypocrites and seat warmers. You seem to know what you want out of a man. Try the gun ranges, or an interest group. Gotta roll your sleeves up and get out there.