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Anyone in here looking to be a therapist or counselor?
#11
Quote:Please elaborate. I agree. Helping those less fortunate than you is a soul saver.

Your ego is the thing that is taking the hit (at your current job) not your soul. That's OK to admit. That's being honest with yourself.

Recognizing that might also allow you to handle the supervisor better. You are treated that way by your supervisor because you allow her to do it. Stand up for yourself. Get the ego out of the way and calmly tell her to treat you with the respect you deserve.
Excelsior - BS Business 2008
Son #1 TESC BSBA Computer Information Systems completed June 2010
Son #2 TESC BA Computer Science completed November 2010 Currently in Florida State (FSU) Masters CS program and loving it
#12
Geezer Wrote:Your ego is the thing that is taking the hit (at your current job) not your soul. That's OK to admit. That's being honest with yourself.

Recognizing that might also allow you to handle the supervisor better. You are treated that way by your supervisor because you allow her to do it. Stand up for yourself. Get the ego out of the way and calmly tell her to treat you with the respect you deserve.

Oh I'm sure it's my ego in that aspect. I prefer to think it's my pride..is that the same thing? lol Wink I was being dramatic in saying it's killing my soul. But it does seem to put a damper on it. Who wants to be mistreated that way? My coworker has to be the snobbiest person I have met in my life and she's treated with a lot more respect than I am. I don't know if it has to do with her being older, as well.

I'm learning to become assertive and biting my tongue when I feel a "Sorry" coming on, because I noticed that I overuse it and seem to get nervous when I make a mistake. I have another coworker that is sweeter than a bucket of ice cream. They walk ALL over her and treated her like dirt. They're actually pretty cruel and it's not uncommon for there to be a lot of whispering, snickering and cursing of her under their breath. This come directly from the CEO and management. I feel terrible. She's like a punching bag.

I admit to you that I just want to be employed somewhere that I can be my regular, kind self without being abused. But even if I was happy where I'm at, it's always been a huge "dream" of mine to be self employed and/or run my own business. I've had it in me since I was a wee one. Right now all I can do is make do until the economy improves.

Every day that I suffer at this job I just continue to remind myself that I am one penny closer to being able to embark on a business idea, etc.
#13
Quote:Oh I'm sure it's my ego. I prefer to think it's my pride..is that the same thing? lol I was being dramatic in saying it's killing my soul.

Yes it is. Yes you are being dramatic but the reality is that which angers you, controls you. So you obsess about her. She controls you. It's important to step back and get some perspective. Take that energy and donate time and/or money to those less fortunate then you. Then you will have perspective and she will become insignificant.

Quote:I admit to you that I just want to be employed somewhere that I can be my regular, kind self without being abused.

You will be abused as long as you allow it....don't allow it.
Excelsior - BS Business 2008
Son #1 TESC BSBA Computer Information Systems completed June 2010
Son #2 TESC BA Computer Science completed November 2010 Currently in Florida State (FSU) Masters CS program and loving it
#14
Geezer Wrote:Yes it is. Yes you are being dramatic but the reality is that which angers you, controls you. So you obsess about her. She controls you. It's important to step back and get some perspective. Take that energy and donate time and/or money to those less fortunate then you. Then you will have perspective and she will become insignificant.



You will be abused as long as you allow it....don't allow it.

It's not just a she. It's a he and other shes. My business has a bad reputation. There are several negative onlinereviews and they spend the time, during the day, to laugh about it. I'm feeling very caught. How do you not allow someone to treat you that way? I'm not tactful with my words and there are so many cases I don't know how to handle.

For instance, my coworker decided to take her lunch break at our desk and was dealing with upgrading her phone plan. I was speaking with another coworker and she had the nerve to ask me to keep my talking to an absolute minimum although she shouldn't have even been there. She then proceeds to diddly daddly with her phone bill and even goes on to have her OWN conversation with someone else. I am floored daily by what condescending snobs they are. I asked her "WOW, are you serious?" I'll be honest Geezer, I don't have any idea how to reply to some of the extraordinarily rude things they do.

My boss has literally snapped his fingers at me and cut me off mid-question when all I'm trying to do is make sure that I understand what he wants. My coworker, who is NOT my boss, is constantly looking over my shoulder and asking me if I "need something to do". Someone assigns her work and she says "I'm going to leave these for you because I'm actually in the middle of something".......they treat her like GOLD and I have no idea why. She has yelled at candidates of ours for leaving the front office closet door slightly ajar, although not on purpose. She won't lift a finger to help do dishes in the employee kitchen (part of our job)... I'll be honest, I truly have no idea how to respond to some of these situations. I guess you would have to be there to see them.

This is the SAME coworker who left her stupid phone at work and me, being courteous, went to meet her in the city to give it back to her after I got off work.

You're right. Those who anger you control you and I am allowing that to happen, but I am desperate to find out how to respond assertively without getting myself into trouble. I very badly need work and I'm trying to bite my tongue until one of my applications/interviews pull through and I know I have a new job in line. The process has been brutal.
#15
Here's the thing. You can't control what they say or what they do...but you can control how you react to it. First off you don't HAVE to react at all. You can take a deep breath, smile and continue with your work....if you have some perspective. Sometimes no response is the best response.

You can decide before you get into work that you are not going to buy into the BS and drama. I know it sounds simplistic, but you can simply decide not to.

This is a temporary job. Keep it in perspective. Your job doesn't define you. If you are feeling down, donate some time to those less fortunate, you will bounce back quickly.
Excelsior - BS Business 2008
Son #1 TESC BSBA Computer Information Systems completed June 2010
Son #2 TESC BA Computer Science completed November 2010 Currently in Florida State (FSU) Masters CS program and loving it
#16
Geezer Wrote:Here's the thing. You can't control what they say or what they do...but you can control how you react to it. First off you don't HAVE to react at all. You can take a deep breath, smile and continue with your work....if you have some perspective. Sometimes no response is the best response.

You can decide before you get into work that you are not going to buy into the BS and drama. I know it sounds simplistic, but you can simply decide not to.

This is a temporary job. Keep it in perspective. Your job doesn't define you. If you are feeling down, donate some time to those less fortunate, you will bounce back quickly.

Thanks Geezer. Thank you for caring enough to tell me how it is. Even though I don't like "hearing" what you tell me, sometimes, you are always right. It hurts to "hear" it, but it's the truth and it's going to come in handy for me in the future.

And ooohh...only if I could avoid all the drama and BS. I would LOVE to try the no-response thing. People would freak out.

Snobby coworker: Can you keeping your talking to an absolute bare minimum?
Me: Blank stare, smile, no response
Snobby coworker: Ok? Did you hear me?
Me: Blank stare, no response.

Too bad I have to work side by side with her. This is why I try to allow most of this to happen, I suppose. I look at it like, I don't want to burn bridges and have them give me an awful reference. I've been with this agency for over 3 years.

Thanks again.
#17
If you make a conscious decision to allow certain things to happen, then you are in control. When you are in control you can decide whether or not and how you react....as opposed to just reacting to everything and letting the situation control you. Big difference. You may have more power than you realize. Smile
Excelsior - BS Business 2008
Son #1 TESC BSBA Computer Information Systems completed June 2010
Son #2 TESC BA Computer Science completed November 2010 Currently in Florida State (FSU) Masters CS program and loving it
#18
College Student7, I feel your pain but I think it just boils down to working with women. We are catty. I remember I had an co-worker who said something smart to me one day and I was so angry that I told her do not talk to me. She then cried and the boss tried to flip it like I was the one with the issue. I had to check my boss and she left me the hell alone. I told her last time I checked I did not need to talk to someone to complete my job. There is no rule against that is there??? People are just unbelievable and because they are miserable with their life they try to make yours miserable too.

I know that you are looking for a solution to change lanes quickly so that you can move on from that job but dont end up making the wrong choice just because you want to rush. I will be honest and say that about a year ago I would always see people posting about the big three on another forum. I never paid it any attention as I believed I was getting the best bang for my buck with the other schools and that I would finish fairly quickly. If I would have know back then what I know now. Consider yourself lucky that you have 80.5 credits to apply towards your degree plan. If they all apply to the BA in Math/Sciences than you are only about 40 credits away. That is not that far away from your dream of being able to move on. I was able to complete that many credits in the past few months.

I know that counseling/therapy is cool job as I was looking into it myself but realistically they do not make a lot and you have to intern/extern for a few years even before anyone will grant you a license. You can check for the requirements by state. You have to sign-up with an email to view the information. Handbook Review

Being a counselor will take anywhere from 5 to 7 years to get started. Most places will not even hire you with a BA. You must at least have your masters.
me:
ASBA-TESC-9/2011
BSBA-TESC-6/2012
Awards: Arnold Fletcher Award
MBA-CSU- 5/2014
DBA- undecided


hubby:
A.A.S-TESC-6/2012
BS in Interdisciplinary Studies-Starting Soon
#19
emichele20 Wrote:College Student7, I feel your pain but I think it just boils down to working with women. We are catty. I remember I had an co-worker who said something smart to me one day and I was so angry that I told her do not talk to me. She then cried and the boss tried to flip it like I was the one with the issue. I had to check my boss and she left me the hell alone. I told her last time I checked I did not need to talk to someone to complete my job. There is no rule against that is there??? People are just unbelievable and because they are miserable with their life they try to make yours miserable too.

I know that you are looking for a solution to change lanes quickly so that you can move on from that job but dont end up making the wrong choice just because you want to rush. I will be honest and say that about a year ago I would always see people posting about the big three on another forum. I never paid it any attention as I believed I was getting the best bang for my buck with the other schools and that I would finish fairly quickly. If I would have know back then what I know now. Consider yourself lucky that you have 80.5 credits to apply towards your degree plan. If they all apply to the BA in Math/Sciences than you are only about 40 credits away. That is not that far away from your dream of being able to move on. I was able to complete that many credits in the past few months.

I know that counseling/therapy is cool job as I was looking into it myself but realistically they do not make a lot and you have to intern/extern for a few years even before anyone will grant you a license. You can check for the requirements by state. You have to sign-up with an email to view the information. Handbook Review

Being a counselor will take anywhere from 5 to 7 years to get started. Most places will not even hire you with a BA. You must at least have your masters.

It is as though you READ my mind. The first paragraph hit me HARD. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH NOW.

You get sh*t on and if you stick up for yourself or you're the least bit assertive, you're a "psycho" or something. Emichele, I'm miserable. I feel as though I have no right to complain as SO many people are desperate for work.

The girl I work with is in her mid-30s, unable to have babies (as of now), had to quick sale her house, moved from Nevada to NY to pursue music and get a "record deal" and doesn't even live with her husband. However, he's a kind gentleman and treats her like gold. He's also a Physical Therapist. I wonder how bad things can be for her.

She has her Masters and is still paying off a large chunk of tuition debt. She makes the same amount of money as me. Perhaps that's why she is this way? Who knows. I'm dealing with my own "demons" and have just never acted like that to another human being.

Don't even get me started on my two bosses. I guess I just had to vent and I am so glad that you practically read my mind and gave me something to think about. This recession has been SO depressing, but it's also getting my mind flowing.
#20
It is like living in Mean Girls: Real Life Work Edition the movie. You just have to learn how to vent and move on until things get better. I know that talking to your partner may work but after awhile they get lost as they do not fully understand how evil women can be. I would tell my husband things and literally like after the first 15 mins I could tell that he would tune me out..LOL

The thing is with ppl like that it takes extra energy as you always have to out think their wickedness to stay sane. I don't know if you are a religious person or not but if you are I would say pray to whomever you worship. Prayer really does work. I remember about two years ago I prayed daily for a change in my work like as it was so stressful. My husband told me so many times that he wished that I could quit and stay home and raise our kids. Now that it is almost two years later I am doing exactly what I prayed for. I am a stay at home mom with time to work on my degree. Although it is two years later it is here. Sometimes just speaking things into existence and believing it makes it happen.

Figure out what you truly want to do in life. I know I say that like it is easy but it really is. Try out everything that you want to do and if you like it and it sticks then it is for you. It is never too early or late to start your own business. If you have some money saved and a business plan start working on that or if you want to start teaching start looking into tutoring gigs, or become a counselor start working looking at shelters to volunteer. But you do need to decide and lay out your plan otherwise you will end up spending a lot of money and having credits all over the place.
me:
ASBA-TESC-9/2011
BSBA-TESC-6/2012
Awards: Arnold Fletcher Award
MBA-CSU- 5/2014
DBA- undecided


hubby:
A.A.S-TESC-6/2012
BS in Interdisciplinary Studies-Starting Soon


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