Age difference in dating

[soliloquy]

Are you his friend or his mother? Your attitude toward this situation is likely to lose you a friend. It is nobody's business who we choose to date, marry, etc.

I don't know if that's the case here but I've learned that the way we vent to others isn't necessarily the way we would try to appeal to the person we mean to reach. When I am frustrated beyond belief with someone I might speak in a more frustrated tone to my best friend who is lending me her ear but I certainly would not approach the object of my frustration with all that venom on my tongue. lol That would accomplish little. I think OP is probably being a bit more candid here than he would with his friend and would phrase things a bit more carefully - and just for clarification that's not about being fake or insincere...it's about being tactful.

[AlbaTiVo]

Your friend's relationship is none of your business.

[taylor]

Being a friend to me is being able to communicate with them when they're potentially going down the wrong path and not biting your tongue to avoid confrontation. Whether they take your advice or not is ultimately up to them but you have to say your piece. I take the same approach with my family members. Otherwise to me your relationship is just surface and you are just acquaintances not friends. I got a plenty of acquaintances not a whole lot of friends.

A little more detail about my friend. He's a former IT guy that now owns a business. His business puts him in contact with a lot of females that he never would have met as an IT guy. I even told him you used to be an IT guy and now you're the T I T guy. He likes that nickname. Even when I try to make fun of him he takes it as a compliment. What a chump! Also he has a lot on his plate he has a mother to take care of and 2 kids who will be going to college in the next few years. Another thing to an outsider his business may look like it's doing well but he has 2 partners he has to split the profits with equally and a business loan on top of that. His acquaintances don't know this stuff but I do because I'm his friend .

[learflyer]

Interesting topic. I met my wife when she was 42. I was 28. 14 year difference. Now I'm 42 and she 56. Been married for ten years while we sit back and watch all of my peers who said it wouldn't work get divorced and have a million kids, etc.

[soliloquy]

Interesting topic. I met my wife when she was 42. I was 28. 14 year difference. Now I'm 42 and she 56. Been married for ten years while we sit back and watch all of my peers who said it wouldn't work get divorced and have a million kids, etc.

I'm just curious how the having kids got thrown in with the negativity as though having kids is as bad as getting a divorce.

[Bibby]

Age is just a number, but romantic relationships between people in radically different stages of their personal and professional lives usually don't work well.

The guideline Johann posted of "(age / 2) + 7" seems to make a lot of sense for those wishing to avoid relationships that make people say "Eeeeew!" or "You're dating her?". I'd never heard it before, so thanks for sharing.

Then again, I'm probably not the best person to ask for romantic advice!

[SteveFoerster]

The guideline Johann posted of "(age / 2) + 7" seems to make a lot of sense for those wishing to avoid relationships that make people say "Eeeeew!" or "You're dating her?". I'd never heard it before, so thanks for sharing.

On the other hand, I've heard that figure used as the preferred maximum age for a mistress. But I suppose different people see this sort of thing differently.

[Johann]

On the other hand, I've heard that figure used as the preferred maximum age for a mistress...

Good one, Steve!

Johann

[indivinefavor]

Welp!! This is my area of expertise. I usually have a 10+ rule. 10+ meaning, 10 years my senior. However, I will say that it truly all depends on the person. I was raised by my grandparents. My grandmother just died last year at 91....very very old! She was the Church Mother and my grandfather was the Assistant Pastor. I was raised as traditional as can be. I'm 31 years old and I know what KARO SYRUP. No one my age, has absolutely no clue what that is lol! But the point is that generally speaking, I have never connected with anyone my age...and that's not to say that I haven't tried. Even most of my friends, are 5-15 years my senior. For me, it's all about a connection and on a lot of subjects, I just can't relate to anyone who's my age. I'm dating someone who's 43 and at first he was even a little...he probably would've said, "GROSSY GROSS", but we've been dating for some time and even thinking of marriage.

But I can't stress enough, that there should be some type of age limit and it DEFINITELY depends on the person. If there's a 51 year old CEO, who's dating a 25yr old crossing guard (no offense to any crossing guards, thank you getting our children across the streets safely), then THAT'S A PROBLEM!!

On the other hand, your friend may just be going through a mid-life crisis. Let him ride it out and see what happens.

[SuzanneD]

I dated a guy who was roughly 20 years younger then me. I liked him,but I just couldn't be comfortable with the age difference. He was smart and funny, but too close in age to my son.