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[Getiton1]

Hi Rebel,

Wow, I am a little late to this party…but I hear ya…this is a tough one because it could impact the quality of your life AND your families. This is a toughie.

Here's what I think. You have elderly parents here and I echo a lot of the thoughts and words people have painted previously. You can not get that time with your folks back…you CAN make money and move anytime really..especially with that smashing title behind your name now

It sounds like you and your former boss have a great repoire, and this coupled with an amazing location really has the magnet effect…especially after getting the less than stellar raise. You have toyed with leaving this employment in the past if I am not mistaken too right? So I can see things weighting more in favor of a move for your own mental health.

But here's what I think… Handle first things first. Talk to your friend/connection and be honest. It's very obvious he wants to work with you again. I would say some thinking to your friend like (and I am going to substitute names here since I have no idea what the guys name is)…"Hey Bobby, it's Rebel…and I have to tell you, when you reached out to tell me about this job it was at a time when I felt ripe for the picking' and ready to take on the world. But I have calmed down a bit and while nothing would give me greater pleasure than to leave (your current job) and go to your firm…I not sure about making the move because of the timing. I have 2 elderly parents and my youngest kid that really would rather I stayed. So I AM so interested, but not sure about the timing. Would you still stand by me if I take a break and sit things out here in Florida at least until (substitute whatever is making you stay in Florida…Parents age, littlest kid in love and not wanting to leave her high school…use your own words here). Then say, I KNOW this is an amazing opportunity and I am so glad you thought of me…because I really have missed working with you too. But I would feel like such a heel if I didn't at least tell you I am not sure about the timing of this interview/job/move and it feels a little wrong to take up the groups money, time and resources if I can't commit right now. Another thing that's bugging me is that I don't want to lose out on this chance to live where I want to live (and die), how I want to live and be with the people who I enjoy the most. But I feel like with my parents getting up there in age, that it would be hard on them (or whatever your thoughts are). So if you think this door would close I would be interested to know if there might be a chance down the road that I might be able to open it again (with no reservations) when the timing is a little better for me and my family?

Then listen…really listen to your first connection with this whole job…listen to your friend. Find out if you would burn bridges... or gain the respect of the team now and know that 2-3 years down the road the job was there if you still wanted it…because of your honestly with your friend and the company.

Really I am going to tell you what you already know. It's going to come down to what you feel best about. Would you really resent staying in Florida? Would you resent your kid? parents? current job? (I know that sounds kind of mean…but I am thinking the whole scenario though…sort of a "what if"). Resent and regret are really poisonous to relationships. So if you could see yourself with these emotions and feelings at the forefront of your mind every day you stay in Florida… then you will know your answer.

When I am faced with tough decisions like these I pray. I am not sure if you are into prayer or mediation or whatever…but taking it to higher power works for me and has SAVED me so many times. I pray for things like... advice, wisdom, a sign (and you will know it when you see it or see a similar amazing thing happen over and over in different circumstances)…and I pray for the right words to come out of my mouth when I talk to everyone involved and then I pray for peace…because otherwise things like this can keep you up at night or turn your stomach into a gurgling mess.

If you don't mind…I will pray for you to have additional wisdom and deeper insights into this whole thing. I will also pray for you to have a sign that will stick out to you like a compass pointing you in the right direction.

Still, it's really what you and your family are comfortable with. I would keep the relationship strong and honest with your friend throughout the process. Jobs can come and go but really wonderful people that truly love and support you and your career are less common. Hold onto the best ones and help them out as well when you can.

You'll figure it out Rebel…you are smart…after all you DID finish an MBA!

I wish you peace with whatever you choose.

-Tara