Opportunities...

[Lindagerr]

If I were you I would go for the interview, you might find you like the job so much you will find a way to deal with the other problems.

When my husband first told me of this job opportunity in Buffalo I laughed at him. No way was I going to move somewhere colder I wanted warm weather. We had some of your worries, but what I expected to see was a big dirty city ( I am a country girl) I hate cities. When we came for the interview (it was only a drive so they invited me to come too) I dropped my husband off and spent the day exploring the area (of course it was July and beautiful weather) I liked the area surrounding the city and the feeling of community I saw. My husband was very excited about the job and I finally agreed to the move.

Some of the things we had to weigh was our home had been our home for 28 years it was a small tight knit community and we had raised our children there. The house was more than half paid off and it would be hard to sell in the market at that time. My children were all adults but one needs to live with us because of disabilities. Our youngest was also living with us and had a full time job so he would stay in NJ. My oldest lived within an hour and my brother was near by. My husbands mother (in her 80's) also lived about an hour away with his brother. So we would be leaving all of our friends and family and going somewhere we knew no one.


EDIT: I must add when we came for the interview I was sure there was no way in HE** I was going to move to a colder ugly place. So even if you don't think you are taking it go and hear them out.

I was working towards my teaching certification in NJ and was more then half way there since graduating TESC. Moving meant I would have a hard time finishing that. I had all the work I needed subbing in two nearby school districts that I knew lots of people at. I was not sure what I would do with myself here.

Then there was the financial part of things my husband would be making more money then he was making in his current consulting job and the cost of living is much cheaper here. We got a house that is twice as big on twice as much land with half the property tax. This was a big pro.

So we made the move. My husband loves his job and is well respected at work we have been here less than 2 years and he was already promoted once. I love our new house it has most of the things I always wanted and some I didn't even know I wanted. The problem has been getting to know people and meeting new friends. Since I can't find a job here except occasional low paying substitute aide work I spend a great deal of time in the house I don't have any children in school so that is another avenue cut off. My son has also had a hard time making friends here and he also spends a lot of time in the house.

My M-I-L has taken a turn for the worse and it hard on my husband not getting to see her much. My mother was already 11 hours away by car (she is also in her 80's) now she is over 14 hours away and flights from Buffalo are less frequent and more expensive then flights from the NJ/NY area, my sister is near her but sometimes I feel she ends up with too much of the burden..

What I am trying to say with all this is sometimes you run into pros and cons you never expected. So do your homework, making 3X's as much money doesn't mean much if the cost of living is 3X's more. What are the opportunities for your wife and children in the new area? Is there anyone else to help with your parents or will you have the added expense of flying back and forth.

What are the opportunities for advancement in the new job compared to advancement in the job you have here. If that job does not work out will you have to move again or are there other places you could work near by, could you find a better job where you are?

I know there are lots of reasons not to go, but I am glad we did move. My husband is happier in his job, I love my new house and living in a new part of the country has opened my eyes to how different in some ways and alike in other ways we all are. We have lots of new places to go and see and we have lots of people come and visit and we get really good quality time with them when they are staying at our house.

So in my opinion get all the facts and spend time weighing the pros and cons, don't turn down the opportunity without taking a good look at it. As for your children it is hard to leave friends but with facebook and skype and all the other social media these days it is easy to keep in touch and when they make new friends it will widen their horizons.

Good Luck with whatever you choose and remember which ever way you go there will always be the what ifs.


In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. Bill Cosby