CLEPP College Composition Essay / Practice help test

[Kelley0725]

Hey! I'm using Peterson's Clepp practice test, and I wanted to know if anyone could take a look at my score and my first essay to see if I would be able to pass the exam? I got a 78 % on the multiple choice, and my timed 30 minute essay is posted below.

Help will be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance )

Topic: I don’t care how poor a person is; if he has family, he’s rich.


Life is not meant to be measured by one's monetary value or the possessions he or she owns. Many people nowadays do not seek the rich fulfillment of love and family. Instead, they seek the instant gratification of what their credit cards will buy them. It seems that the more possessions someone obtains, the faster they lose their sense of what matters in life.

Many people believe that the more they buy, the more respect they will gain. By owning expensive things, they are perceived as successful by their colleagues. Some people truly believe that these items will last forever, and their possessions will always bring them joy. However, they do not realize that in twenty years, that brand new Mustang GT won't start without having to manually hot wire it every morning. If he or she had family around, they could have simply called and asked for a ride.

It is better to be broke and surrounded by loved ones that to own more than necessary with no one to share it with. Things break down and stop working, and sometimes are lost or burned to the ground. Family is blood. It is a bond that holds forever, in life and in death. Without anyone to love or give love to, life means nothing. What is respect when it is given for items you own, rather than your achievements and accomplishments?

To have a family is to have people that will always love you, no matter how tough things get. No amount of money in the world can buy them, just as no amount of money could get them to leave. A man who has a helping hand, someone to hold, or someone to answer a desperate phone call in the odd hours of the night, has more in value and worth than the man or woman who just won the Power Ball.


Andd that's it.. It's not too great and I've noticed a couple of mistakes, but tell me what you think.

[LaterBloomer]

First, I think that you write well enough to pass. With that, here are my comments: "by one's monetary value" is a bit forced. I'd have written something easier, like "by how much money one has..." Without checking a dictionary, I'd think that "nowadays" is a bit too casual. I think that "someone" is a... can't remember the term, but it means an individual rather than a group. So, to be consistent, I'd have written, "some people obtain..." I'm a bit old-fashioned, but I don't hold with "he or she had family" later referenced by "they." Choose a gender, and stick with it. "If she had family around, she could have simply called and asked for a ride." "They" isn't interchangeable with "he or she." One is plural, the other is single. Keep it singular or plural, but be consistent. I'm not very good at editing, but that is my two cents. Good luck with the exam.

[Kelley0725]

Alright, thanks a lot for your help and revisions. I'll practice some more on the essays and see if I do better before taking the actual exam.

Thanks again

[cooperalex2004]

Just make sure you know how to write both essays, one is 30 minutes to a prompt using your own knowledge, and the other is 40 minutes using two passages they provide. If you plan on taking more than just this one exam I highly recommend the CLEP Official Study Guide (about $24.99 at local stores and online). For the other exams it mirrors what is on their website and provides a sample test, but for this test it has details on scoring the essays and provides examples of a few essays and how they were scored, something I found very useful. If you can write fast enough I recommend a five paragraph essay with 4-6 sentences per paragraph. CLEP doesn't come right out and ask for it, but since they have actual professors grading the essays you should do your best to do it the way they would likely teach it. An essay answering the question by listing three reasons why or why not (the three body paragraphs) along with a good intro and conclusion will likely be scored well. On the second essay you MUST source the material they give you.

If you haven't already, check out this link:
College Composition | CLEP

Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great. Remember you can also take the DSST Technical Writing Exam for most schools and get another three credits (check with your school). That one gives you an instant score since it is multiple choice only (optional essay, check with your school to see if required). And just for fun before you leave the English subject behind, check out CLEP Analyze and Interpret Literature. Most schools take that for six credits and it is mainly interpreting short passages (poems and old english material).