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People treating you differently since you've graduated? - collegechick - 07-05-2021

I've been surprised by some people in my life who weren't happy for me to complete my BA and pursuing an additional advanced degree.  One friend ignored my response after he asked what I'd been up to several times during Covid, and another one was sarcastic.  Don't get me wrong, I've had incredible support from most, but surprised to see the insecurities of others manifest since my completion.  I wasn't expecting this.      

Did any of you experience this as well?


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - ss20ts - 07-05-2021

I've had some give me attitude. I'm like what's your deal? Jealous much? Most people are supportive. I've found the ones who are more supportive are the ones who have college degrees - usually multiple degrees.


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - Maniac Craniac - 07-05-2021

(07-05-2021, 11:26 AM)collegechick Wrote: I've been surprised by some people in my life who weren't happy for me to complete my BA and pursuing an additional advanced degree.  One friend ignored my response after he asked what I'd been up to several times during Covid, and another one was sarcastic.  Don't get me wrong, I've had incredible support from most, but surprised to see the insecurities of others manifest since my completion.  I wasn't expecting this.      

Did any of you experience this as well?

Yes, but my situation was quite far from the norm.

I was a part of a fundamentalist Christian sect for much of my adult life. The sect doesn't outright ban, but highly frowns upon pursuing higher education as something frivolous, even dangerous. I had to be very careful with whom I shared my successes because I knew I could be either the object of scorn, or I could make others feel bad who had sacrificed their own education for the sake of their worship. Even still, I was at times surprised just how vehemently others were opposed to my decision.

This thread, and your experience really hits home to me. Just this past weekend, I was thinking about how much joy I missed out on because I didn't allow myself room to celebrate. Not even with others, but just by myself. I finally had accomplished something that I always wanted and always thought couldn't happen due to financial and health reasons. Yet, it happened, and all I did was receive my diploma in the mail and shove it in an accordion file along with my other important papers. I did briefly hang it up at one point, but I didn't want it to be a conversation piece for church members who came over my place and saw it.

I've decided to mount my BA diploma on the wall facing me in my home office. That way, when I'm in a reflexive mood, I can look up and think fondly of what I've done. Also, since leaving the church, I decided to look for friends who will be happy for me, not envious or contemptuous of me, when good things happen.


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - collegechick - 07-05-2021

(07-05-2021, 01:45 PM)Maniac Craniac Wrote:
(07-05-2021, 11:26 AM)collegechick Wrote: I've been surprised by some people in my life who weren't happy for me to complete my BA and pursuing an additional advanced degree.  One friend ignored my response after he asked what I'd been up to several times during Covid, and another one was sarcastic.  Don't get me wrong, I've had incredible support from most, but surprised to see the insecurities of others manifest since my completion.  I wasn't expecting this.      

Did any of you experience this as well?

Yes, but my situation was quite far from the norm.

I was a part of a fundamentalist Christian sect for much of my adult life. The sect doesn't outright ban, but highly frowns upon pursuing higher education as something frivolous, even dangerous. I had to be very careful with whom I shared my successes because I knew I could be either the object of scorn, or I could make others feel bad who had sacrificed their own education for the sake of their worship. Even still, I was at times surprised just how vehemently others were opposed to my decision.

This thread, and your experience really hits home to me. Just this past weekend, I was thinking about how much joy I missed out on because I didn't allow myself room to celebrate. Not even with others, but just by myself. I finally had accomplished something that I always wanted and always thought couldn't happen due to financial and health reasons. Yet, it happened, and all I did was receive my diploma in the mail and shove it in an accordion file along with my other important papers. I did briefly hang it up at one point, but I didn't want it to be a conversation piece for church members who came over my place and saw it.

I've decided to mount my BA diploma on the wall facing me in my home office. That way, when I'm in a reflexive mood, I can look up and think fondly of what I've done. Also, since leaving the church, I decided to look for friends who will be happy for me, not envious or contemptuous of me, when good things happen.

First of all congratulations on completing your BA!  Sounds like we both graduated around the same time?  June 11, 2021?  Cheers to us both!

Wow, I can relate to nearly everything you posted.  I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and they discouraged any further education.  I had the short-term mentality that armageddon was right around the corner *rolls eyes*.  So happy I freed myself from that cult!  I also experienced health issues that forced me to relocate and was finally able to move past them to complete my degree.  Cheers to both of us overcoming those obstacles!  

I like the idea of mounting the degree on the wall.  I've decided to keep the diploma jacket/folder out on my dresser as a temporary reminder of my completion.  Still can't believe I finally finished!  Congrats again!


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - Vle045 - 07-05-2021

Although I was the first person in my family to get a degree, it always just seemed expected. I didn’t even have a goal or an idea of what I wanted to do. It was just the next logical step after high school. Now I struggle with whether I can/should get a higher degree or a second degree. Some will say a second degree is a waste of time and i should just get the MBA. Maybe that is true. But maybe I am not ready for that since my first degree was a million years ago. Every few days I feel like I should just be happy with my job and sit back and watch TV. Other days I get ticked off at my husband and think I should get an MBA so I can earn twice as much money and go buy my own dang house.

Either way…. The only person you need to answer to is yourself. If other people don’t like it, too bad for them.


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - collegechick - 07-05-2021

(07-05-2021, 03:55 PM)Vle045 Wrote: Although I was the first person in my family to get a degree, it always just seemed expected.  I didn’t even have a goal or an idea of what I wanted to do.  It was just the next logical step after high school.  Now I struggle with whether I can/should get a higher degree or a second degree.  Some will say a second degree is a waste of time and i should just get the MBA.  Maybe that is true.  But maybe I am not ready for that since my first degree was a million years ago.  Every few days I feel like I should just be happy with my job and sit back and watch TV.  Other days I get ticked off at my husband and think I should get an MBA so I can earn twice as much money and go buy my own dang house.

Either way…. The only person you need to answer to is yourself.  If other people don’t like it, too bad for them.


Thanks for the comment.  I'm starting to see the benefits and satisfaction of obtaining my degrees and now a master's degree.  I say go for it!  TV will always be there.  Another quote I've heard is, "you'll be [insert age] anyway, might as well have the degree."  There are really great programs out there.  I've heard good things about the MBA program at WGU.  They make it easy to apply for scholarships and hear there's a great support FB group too.  Tuition is cheap and I love working at my own pace.


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - Maniac Craniac - 07-05-2021

(07-05-2021, 02:01 PM)collegechick Wrote:
(07-05-2021, 01:45 PM)Maniac Craniac Wrote:
(07-05-2021, 11:26 AM)collegechick Wrote: I've been surprised by some people in my life who weren't happy for me to complete my BA and pursuing an additional advanced degree.  One friend ignored my response after he asked what I'd been up to several times during Covid, and another one was sarcastic.  Don't get me wrong, I've had incredible support from most, but surprised to see the insecurities of others manifest since my completion.  I wasn't expecting this.      

Did any of you experience this as well?

Yes, but my situation was quite far from the norm.

I was a part of a fundamentalist Christian sect for much of my adult life. The sect doesn't outright ban, but highly frowns upon pursuing higher education as something frivolous, even dangerous. I had to be very careful with whom I shared my successes because I knew I could be either the object of scorn, or I could make others feel bad who had sacrificed their own education for the sake of their worship. Even still, I was at times surprised just how vehemently others were opposed to my decision.

This thread, and your experience really hits home to me. Just this past weekend, I was thinking about how much joy I missed out on because I didn't allow myself room to celebrate. Not even with others, but just by myself. I finally had accomplished something that I always wanted and always thought couldn't happen due to financial and health reasons. Yet, it happened, and all I did was receive my diploma in the mail and shove it in an accordion file along with my other important papers. I did briefly hang it up at one point, but I didn't want it to be a conversation piece for church members who came over my place and saw it.

I've decided to mount my BA diploma on the wall facing me in my home office. That way, when I'm in a reflexive mood, I can look up and think fondly of what I've done. Also, since leaving the church, I decided to look for friends who will be happy for me, not envious or contemptuous of me, when good things happen.

First of all congratulations on completing your BA!  Sounds like we both graduated around the same time?  June 11, 2021?  Cheers to us both!

Wow, I can relate to nearly everything you posted.  I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and they discouraged any further education.  I had the short-term mentality that armageddon was right around the corner *rolls eyes*.  So happy I freed myself from that cult!  I also experienced health issues that forced me to relocate and was finally able to move past them to complete my degree.  Cheers to both of us overcoming those obstacles!  

I like the idea of mounting the degree on the wall.  I've decided to keep the diploma jacket/folder out on my dresser as a temporary reminder of my completion.  Still can't believe I finally finished!  Congrats again!
I finished the BA in 2014. I really took me this long to start on a Master's  Big Grin

I've since learned how surprisingly similar tight-knit religious communities tend to be in structure and norms. I'm an irreligious agnostic, and it seems that every day some new realization hits me as far as how much my thinking has been molded by the group and its sanctions. I find myself having to rethink mundane things that I thought I already knew about myself.  I've had an alarmingly high amount of "OMG, it was ME who was being an ***hole the while time..." moments of clarity. Also, the reverse, TBH. Ive learned that I wasn't always wrong about some of the things I thought I was wrong about.

Neither one of us should have had to defend our attempts to better ourselves and make an investment in our own future. Especially from other people who have no intention of being there to catch us when we fall if we DIDN'T invest in our future.

(07-05-2021, 03:55 PM)Vle045 Wrote: Although I was the first person in my family to get a degree, it always just seemed expected.  I didn’t even have a goal or an idea of what I wanted to do.  It was just the next logical step after high school.  Now I struggle with whether I can/should get a higher degree or a second degree.  Some will say a second degree is a waste of time and i should just get the MBA.  Maybe that is true.  But maybe I am not ready for that since my first degree was a million years ago.  Every few days I feel like I should just be happy with my job and sit back and watch TV.  Other days I get ticked off at my husband and think I should get an MBA so I can earn twice as much money and go buy my own dang house.

Either way…. The only person you need to answer to is yourself.  If other people don’t like it, too bad for them.
Well, I wish the best for you first of all. I'm also intrigued by your situation and would love to hear how it all turns out  Big Grin


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - LevelUP - 07-05-2021

It's human nature to want to mirror your family and social circle.

If these people aren't paying your bills, buying you cars, houses, well I think it would be up to you to better yourself to be competitive in the job market.


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - ReyMysterioso - 07-06-2021

(07-05-2021, 11:26 AM) pid=\340835' Wrote:Did any of you experience this as well?
Nope. Not one.


RE: People treating you differently since you've graduated? - Alpha - 07-06-2021

I grew up in an environment where the assumption was that you would get out of high school, go to college and at least get a Bachelors degree.  It was a little like the martial arts where you earn a black belt and the reaction is "OK, good.  Now you're ready to start your real training."  Lots of comments like, "Congratulations!  What are you going to do about grad school?"