Motivation, Time Management and Expectations.

[CGaboury]

I have/had been contemplating going back to school to get my degree for the last 15 years or so. During this time, I think I was able to rationalize my decisions for my actions ( Not going) in every conceivable way. Excuses were-a-plenty. I've always been fortunate to land good jobs with great mentors that helped propel my career. My desire to work hard and learn from those around me really helped. Helped everything but my motivation to get back to school.

It's a difficult task to motivate yourself to go back to school in itself. Let alone facing the challenges of being a single father working full time. The question of, "Is it worth my time that could be spent with my son/Family/Career?" was asked almost instantly. After all, it meant dedicating almost all of my free time to my studies. It meant being that much less attentive to my son. It meant that many evenings/dates/dinners with friends and family I'd have to sacrifice. For those 15 years it didn't seem to add up. This was compounded by the fact I had always been fortunate enough to have a good job. I have a great network and 15 years of professional experience in my career of choice. Currently, I am a Software Quality Assurance Engineer at a fantastic company. I've worked at great start-ups, medium sized companies, and massive juggernauts such as Santander Bank. With what seems to be a flourishing career and great respect in my local industry, why would I spend the money (And more importantly, time) to go back to school? I'd likely see little to no change in my current career trajectory.

The answer? Because It's time. Over the 15 years I've always been able to justify with myself why I didn't need it. Why it wasn't right right time or why my personal resources were better spent on other ventures. This was all a lie. The worst kind of lie really. The one you tell yourself repeatedly to silence the voice in your head. Unfortunately, ( Or fortunately) this voice can't be silenced. It's nearly impossible to convince yourself of something that, deep down in your core, you know to be untrue. At least not forever.

Now, Or at least as of September 5th, I've found myself giving the voice in my head an audience. I've decided to hear it out. Give it a shot. Why now? What's different? Well, not a whole lot. I'm still in a great career. I'm still a divorced father. The difference is in support. For the first 15 years of this journey, I allowed myself to be talked out of it. I allowed others to tell me that I didn't have time or that I had more important things to do. ( See Divorced reference) Now I find myself with a great partner. She is supportive in every way.

This poses a new set of challenges. I've jumped the first hurdle; starting down this road. Now, I find myself challenged with making all of the moving parts in my life work cohesively. I tend to come home from work and jump into studying something until midnight. I go to bed and repeat. This is both unhealthy and unsustainable. However, I'm not sure what other ways there is to do it. My fear is that if I do not finish in record time, I'll lose the motivation that I have. I've set this goal of doing this in 18 months. The expectation is only my own, yet I can't seem to lighten up. I want to do this now more than ever and I want to do it yesterday.

it's been 10 days since I started my first class. Currently, I have 5 classes completed. I'm actively working on four classes right now. I have queued up 5 more classes that I've identified as "low hanging fruit". My goal is to have all the in progress AND queued up classed completed in the next 3 weeks. Is this a foolish endeavor? Probably. Impossible? No. This will leave me with 39 credits, or 1/3 of my BSBA. That, I'm hoping will be a great motivator for what's to come.


For those of you that read to the bottom of this and are asking yourself, "Ok great.. so what's his question?". Well, there isn't one. Sometimes you just need to vent. It's been pent up for a decade and a half. I've been holding this in since the first Harry Potter movie came out...

[rebel100]

I hope you get to the end and realize it was a great decision. That came fully into light for me when I had a series of interviews where the person across the table said things like "your education looks great" or "You're Masters prepared, you've certainly done your part". Having the degree(s) was as much about removing artificial blocks as it was for the education.

good luck to you!

[Flelm]

I'm in a similar boat, although I don't have the family commitments that you do. I've started and stopped my degree progress a few times, and although I like to think I'm smart, I just couldn't stick with it.

What is helping me is the same thing, a supportive SO, and more importantly, a plan and an end date. Making my spreadsheet, and putting real, actual dates to completion is what's keeping me going right now. That, and seeing how close I am to actually getting that piece of paper is what's making me motivated.

Without this forum I either would have a) spent a lot more time and money working towards a degree (and maybe failed again at getting one) or b) never getting one at all.

So, congratulations, and thanks to this site for all the great information. I hope I can contribute in a small way.

[Lindagerr]

As someone who put it off for far to long, like 30+ years I say great you realize now is the time to stop putting it off. My only comment about your schedule is if you make it too hard you may burnout and drop out again. Realize that just doing what is possible even if it takes a little longer is better than burning out and not finishing.

[ladylearner]

Vent away. We all need that sometimes. When I made the decision to return to school, I only talked about it with people who understood, respected, and supported my decision. There were other people who didn't understand and made negative comments. I learned not to share with them because when I was feeling frustrated or doubtful, it was too easy for me to let them get inside my head. No one here will ever tell you to give up or not pursue an education. I'm glad to hear that you're surrounded by people - online and IRL - who encourage you to go after your goals.

[CGaboury]

Thanks everyone. And regarding the burning out and setting a high expectation on the scheduling of my classes... I think its for two reasons. 1) I feel that if I don't do it quickly, I'll never do it. And 2) The other reason is that I'm still new to this idea of alternative credit accumulation ( Or whatever this movement is called) is going to somehow be taken away. I feel like this is such an amazing opportunity that something's gotta give. I fear if I don't finish now, while it's still allowed, I'm some how going to lose this opportunity. Like this is somehow a loop hole and it will soon be closed.

[alzee]

This poses a new set of challenges. I've jumped the first hurdle; starting down this road. Now, I find myself challenged with making all of the moving parts in my life work cohesively. I tend to come home from work and jump into studying something until midnight. I go to bed and repeat. This is both unhealthy and unsustainable. However, I'm not sure what other ways there is to do it. My fear is that if I do not finish in record time, I'll lose the motivation that I have. I've set this goal of doing this in 18 months. The expectation is only my own, yet I can't seem to lighten up. I want to do this now more than ever and I want to do it yesterday.

I can completely relate to this much of your story.

It's been about 9 months since I started myself -- my first college credits were ACE credits for Aleks math courses in early February. Since then, I've completed over 90 cr. I am going to apply to graduate with an ASBA in December (just waiting on my College Comp CLEP to show up on my eval), and intend to apply for the BSBA for March. I have three courses "in flight" right now (one SL, two Saylor) and those three will put me at the 100cr mark, when completed. I have all but 3 of the last 20 planned out.

This is in spite of stalling out for a good month or two, completely burned out. You can do it if your desire to reach your goal is strong enough to overcome that burnout and the other rationalizations you mentioned.

A word of caution though -- if you're doing this for the education, you may want to slow down. I can only speak for myself, but I know that hustling along at this pace is severely impacting my retention. I crammed, studied, and worked my ass off to pass Aleks intro to stats.. now months later I learn I really need Saylor's business stats as well. The material is nearly identical, but I remember next to none of it, so I'm repeating earlier effort. I don't remember a thing from the sociology or psychology courses.

If you want to actually get an education, you should probably slow down.

[davewill]

Yeah doing this is all about motivation. After all almost all of us tried to get a degree sometime in the past and stopped. I found myself constantly looking at my eval, watching the pile of credits grow, logging onto this board to get inspired, and, yes leaning on my spouse for encouragement and support.

I don't think any of us do it alone.

[LaterBloomer]

As with other posters, my path to a degree was not a straight and smooth one. One of the things that I think might have helped me would have been had I gone after an associate's degree. Yeah, it might not mean a great deal when it comes to a job, but I think just getting official recognition for work I had completed might have provided the impetus to keep to it.

We're here if you need us. Heaven only knows the cheese my fellow forum members brought to my whining parties. (Aren't you glad we're not British? I think that they pronounce it, "win-jing." Not something you'd have with cheese.)