Do I stay or Should I go?

[2L8]

Hey guys. This week there is this festival at school where you socialize , eat food and just hangout. Let's just call it " College-Chella" But I  ran into a problem. I'm a introverted empath and part of me wants to go to break out of my shell a bit while the other part is afraid to go due to some things that happened ( people who claim to bubbly then turn meh for no reason.) or what can happen like people not liking me / thinking I'm weird or just running on a person who's just flat out negative. I'm not looking for friends anytime soon but I want to socialize , I guess the obstacle is not repeating the past crap I went through. What should I do?

[burbuja0512]

Hard to say without knowing what this event is like.  As someone who gets paid to go to events for a living (I'm in sales, so events are part of the job,) I can say that connecting with people is maybe 70% you, 30% the event.    Will there be places where it's easy to chat, or would you be responsible to just walking up to people and talking?

I NEVER just walk up to people and start chatting unless I have some real reason to do so.   As a professional networker, I think it looks creepy.   However, there are some venues where it's easy to just sit down next to a group of people that are eating or drinking, or perhaps include yourself in activities.

Lastly, is alcohol involved?  I'm really embarassed to admit this, but with a little bit (but NOT a lot) of alcohol, meeting people can be a little bit easier.


So, I didn't answer your question, but overall would just encourage you to visualize what it will look like and how easy it will be to talk to people.  Hope it helps a little bit.

[dfrecore]

I am much better at 1-on-1 socializing, so my advice is to always look for someone who is not talking to anyone, and try to find a natural way to approach them. A wallflower-type person would probably be really glad to have someone start to talk to them. Having a nice conversation with a single person at an event is actually more preferable (to me) than chatting meaninglessly with 10 people there.

Also, have some topics to bring up that are natural for the event. Like, if it's school, there are tons of questions you can ask, things you can say, regarding the school, instructors, classes you've taken or want to take, etc. There's just a natural lead-in to almost any conversation.

Last, I always kind of set an end time for myself. Like, I'm going to go for 30 minutes, and if I haven't found anyone to talk to or aren't having fun, then I can leave. That way, I don't have to feel like I'm stuck there all night. I can always deal with 30 minutes. And, I don't think I've ever not talked to anyone in that 30 minutes, and always end up staying longer.

[2L8]

Hard to say without knowing what this event is like.  As someone who gets paid to go to events for a living (I'm in sales, so events are part of the job,) I can say that connecting with people is maybe 70% you, 30% the event.    Will there be places where it's easy to chat, or would you be responsible to just walking up to people and talking?

I NEVER just walk up to people and start chatting unless I have some real reason to do so.   As a professional networker, I think it looks creepy.   However, there are some venues where it's easy to just sit down next to a group of people that are eating or drinking, or perhaps include yourself in activities.

Lastly, is alcohol involved?  I'm really embarassed to admit this, but with a little bit (but NOT a lot) of alcohol, meeting people can be a little bit easier.


So, I didn't answer your question, but overall would just encourage you to visualize what it will look like and how easy it will be to talk to people.  Hope it helps a little bit.

 No alcohol is involved  , I've also heard that saying before.

[Ideas]

I think you should go, and challenge yourself. Observe people and try to pick people who may have something in common with you. Then talk to them and see.

It's best to try this when you're in school. It can be a lot harder if you wait.

Just assume that most people will only talk with you for a few minutes. It's easy enough to excuse yourself, or they will probably excuse themselves soon, so it's low pressure. Just think of it as brief practice for the future.

[ajs1976a]

Go. Former introvert here, but I do occasionally slip back into my old ways. I started to break those tendencies in high school and broke them down in college. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Don't look to be the life of the party at first, just baby steps. Go, look around, get something to drink (even if it is only water), say hi to some people, get something to eat, talk to some people.

[bluebooger]

This week there is this festival at school where ... eat food ... What should I do?

go and eat free food

[2L8]

This week there is this festival at school where ... eat food ... What should I do?

go and eat free food

well...free makes everything better.