Kid not doing homework

[Sparklette]

So, he’s in 6th grade. First year in a public school. Spent last year at a Christian academy and did not like it.
Asked nightly if he has done his homework, usually responds with he has none or he did it already. Once or twice a week, check the online grade book and find missing assignments. He says he turned them in and just hasn’t gotten them back yet. Okay. So, he’s failing 2 classes. Was notified he forged his dad’s signature on his GPA notice.
Ugh. So, now have the email from one teacher with attachments for 7 missing assignments that he is working through under supervision this week. (They are being nice in allowing this, in my book.)
I think he is flat out lying. His dad seems to think “he just got confused”

Kid does seem to have an issue with fully reading instructions, so I don’t know if that somehow led him to believe he didn’t have any assignments.

Any suggestions?

[davewill]

I don't actually think it matters either way. It's kinda like breaking the law, ignorance is no excuse...it certainly won't change his grades. All you can do is ride herd on him and keep in contact with the teachers until he starts flying right. Pull privileges if he responds to that sort of thing. Hopefully, he'll straighten out before college.

[Ideas]

How is he with other things? Chores, hobbies, friends, keeping his room/areas clean, other responsibilities and routines.

[Sparklette]

How is he with other things? Chores, hobbies, friends, keeping his room/areas clean, other responsibilities and routines.

He will do chores when prompted with about 15 minutes of complaining/trying to extort extra game time/claiming it’s his sibling’s turn to about 15 minutes of actual chore time, which is dishwasher duty, collecting upstairs garbage, folding socks, or walking the dog. Room is a disaster, but that’s his space, so long as there are no dishes rotting.
Seems to maintain friendships, even after switching schools. And has made some new friends in the new school. He goes to his sports activities several times a week, which he seems to go through phases of enjoying or claiming he doesn’t want to go.
Really good at recalling military equipment specifications, phone/technology features and hardware, and super detailed accounts of various video games. Also, seems to be diligent about depositing money into his savings account.
Often asks for equipment to pursue new hobbies, but then it just sits unused until reminded dozens of times that he asked for it.

[dfrecore]

As a mom of an 8th grade son, who's generally a good kid but not great about homework, I think your husband is giving him WAY too much credit. He's totally lying. If he forged a signature, and says he doesn't have homework when he really does (or says he did it when he didn't) that's not "confused." I'm surprised your hubby is letting it go, mine certainly wouldn't - he would come down HARD on him. That's what dad's are for (as opposed to mom's who are usually a little more lenient about stuff). I'm a firm believer in "it takes a dad to change a boy into a man." Not that he has to be a total jerk or anything, but usually when dad's take their sons aside to have man-to-man talks about integrity and such, boys take it a lot more seriously than just about anything a mom might say. Just my experience with my son and husband, and also watching my dad with my brother.

Not saying guys who didn't have dad's around can't turn out ok, obviously, but that boys learn a LOT about manhood from watching the men in their lives.

[Sparklette]

As a mom of an 8th grade son, who's generally a good kid but not great about homework, I think your husband is giving him WAY too much credit. He's totally lying. If he forged a signature, and says he doesn't have homework when he really does (or says he did it when he didn't) that's not "confused." I'm surprised your hubby is letting it go, mine certainly wouldn't - he would come down HARD on him. That's what dad's are for (as opposed to mom's who are usually a little more lenient about stuff). I'm a firm believer in "it takes a dad to change a boy into a man." Not that he has to be a total jerk or anything, but usually when dad's take their sons aside to have man-to-man talks about integrity and such, boys take it a lot more seriously than just about anything a mom might say. Just my experience with my son and husband, and also watching my dad with my brother.

Not saying guys who didn't have dad's around can't turn out ok, obviously, but that boys learn a LOT about manhood from watching the men in their lives.

I think dad is still trying to process the situation. He actually woke up today and started talking about how he’s unsure if the kid is lying. Maybe he just really doesn’t want to accept that that is the reality? Kid has had all electronic entertainment taken away until he has improved his grades and sustains completing his assignments.

[Ideas]

That makes sense, denial at first about the kid lying.

[bluebooger]

https://mediaspace.msu.edu/media/South-P...1_o6cz3oq2

not spam (and I'm sure some people will say "not funny either", but I think its funny)

[dfrecore]

https://mediaspace.msu.edu/media/South-P...1_o6cz3oq2

not spam (and I'm sure some people will say "not funny either", but I think its funny)

It's pretty funny.  But, luckily, we homeschooled when my kids were younger, and when my son got ants in his pants, I sent him outside to exercise.  THAT worked well.  Swimming, jumping on the trampoline, riding his bike or running around the block a couple of times, worked wonders (my daughter did not need this like my son did).

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I think dad is still trying to process the situation. He actually woke up today and started talking about how he’s unsure if the kid is lying. Maybe he just really doesn’t want to accept that that is the reality? Kid has had all electronic entertainment taken away until he has improved his grades and sustains completing his assignments.

I think that teachers are pretty clear about homework these days.  My kids' teachers write it on the board.  They don't throw it out there into the ether with a "I sure hope they notice I said they had homework..."  No, they say "HERE'S YOUR HOMEWORK FOR TONIGHT!"  I think most teachers do this - it's not unclear.

If you're unsure, you should certainly ask the teacher(s) what they do when they assign homework.

[Sparklette]

https://mediaspace.msu.edu/media/South-P...1_o6cz3oq2

not spam (and I'm sure some people will say "not funny either", but I think its funny)

It's pretty funny.  But, luckily, we homeschooled when my kids were younger, and when my son got ants in his pants, I sent him outside to exercise.  THAT worked well.  Swimming, jumping on the trampoline, riding his bike or running around the block a couple of times, worked wonders (my daughter did not need this like my son did).

---

I think dad is still trying to process the situation. He actually woke up today and started talking about how he’s unsure if the kid is lying. Maybe he just really doesn’t want to accept that that is the reality? Kid has had all electronic entertainment taken away until he has improved his grades and sustains completing his assignments.

I think that teachers are pretty clear about homework these days.  My kids' teachers write it on the board.  They don't throw it out there into the ether with a "I sure hope they notice I said they had homework..."  No, they say "HERE'S YOUR HOMEWORK FOR TONIGHT!"  I think most teachers do this - it's not unclear.

If you're unsure, you should certainly ask the teacher(s) what they do when they assign homework.

For now, the teachers will be emailing the assignments to kid and parents daily. Again, far more accommodating than any teachers when I was in 6th grade.