Fastest degree

[SolarKat]

I don't think they're looking for an associates, but that's hopeful thinking. Thank you for mentioning that!
I'm not sure if there is a Bachelors by exam in the UK, but there are a few that are for Masters degrees.
If you have the $, I would recommend a UK MBA, it will only take 10 exams and you get a well recognized Masters!

Heriot-Watt is really famous for their degrees and this is no exception, my buddy did just that about a decade ago.
He did that after his BA from Excelsior though. He also went for his Masters in Finance from HW, also in 10 exams.
Technically, you can finish it in 10 days. One exam a day, but I think that's overkill... even for geniuses!

They're right in the middle of the summer diet, so those are out. There are a few in August, but not many. And the next exam session (for the USA) is in December. So, that's probably out if it's needed ASAP...for a genius. Those exams are not easy, so mere mortals are unlikely to be ready for *all* of them come December.