Does anyone regret it?

[sanantone]

Sanantone, I'm in agreement with you except for one thing. Even if parents have done their research, there is still a high chance they are wrong, particularly if they are of the controlling type. They can't know what's best for their children who have turned into adults, not clones. Like your post, this isn't directed at the original poster.

That is true. There are parents who pressure their children to study a STEM field, accounting/finance, to complete the pre-med sequence, or various other things. The child may not have the aptitude for the field and/or may not have an interest in the field. This happens with parents sending their kids to traditional schools. So, there are controlling parents among homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers, but the reason for controlling their children might be different.

A lot of families involved with CollegePlus and the Verity Institute are part of the Quiverfull movement. I know there was at least one student here who said she didn't plan to do anything with her degree other than to be better prepared to teacher her own children when she has them. She was not to leave her father's home until she was married. After that, she would be a housewife. A couple of other students said that their parents wanted to have control of their education because they wanted them to learn things from the Christian worldview. They believe that colleges are indoctrinating young people with liberal ideologies.

[davewill]

You have to be careful even if you aren't the controlling type. My oldest started out choosing accounting just because he didn't know what to pick and thought it was what we wanted. He was much happier once he asserted himself and switched to marketing.

[Leherself]

That is true. There are parents who pressure their children to study a STEM field, accounting/finance, to complete the pre-med sequence, or various other things. The child may not have the aptitude for the field and/or may not have an interest in the field. This happens with parents sending their kids to traditional schools. So, there are controlling parents among homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers, but the reason for controlling their children might be different.

I think there's a tendency for a lot of people (parents and otherwise) to want to try and direct young people toward fields of study that are considered a "sure thing". People like simple formulas - do this, this, and this and you'll be a successful member of the high income class in this country. The trouble with that is usually that for one, the formula doesn't work as well as people think it does (how many broke out of work law school grads do you know? I know several). And for another, even if following the guided path gives people a decent shot at financial security, it doesn't necessarily make them happy or fulfilled.

Young people making their own choices aren't necessarily going to choose better than their parents, but at least they'll be learning from their own results rather than being able to blame others for any of their misfortunes. I think the biggest thing I would encourage a young person to do is not just assume that the most obvious choice is the best option - a criminal justice degree isn't necessarily the best route into a CJ career, a biology major isn't necessarily the be the best route to med school, and an expensive professional credential isn't necessarily the best way to achieve financial security and success in life.

The first career path I chose as an 18 year old didn't really suit me, but it gave me the opportunity to learn about the kind of work I do enjoy. I learned that I care more about lifestyle than I do about money, like working with people, hate spending all day sitting at a desk, love learning new things, etc. I had no idea what I wanted to go to college for when I was 18 - I just didn't have the life, work, or other experience that would give me perspective on the issue. I'm glad no one forced me to stay in college when I clearly wasn't ready for it.

[topdog98]

Thanks for sharing more of your story. This may be why we have had different outcomes. When I heard that it was possible to complete college in high school, I jumped all over it. I chose my own major based on my preferences. My parents were encouraging, but didn't push. In fact, often they would say, "Are you sure you don't want to slow down a little bit?" So maybe this process works well when the student is the driving force behind it.

[PonyGirl93]

@sanantone: Sorry, wasn't trying to "take things personally." It seemed like you were addressing me personally. Disregard whatever caused offense

Sanantone, I'm in agreement with you except for one thing. Even if parents have done their research, there is still a high chance they are wrong, particularly if they are of the controlling type. They can't know what's best for their children who have turned into adults, not clones. Like your post, this isn't directed at the original poster.

You have to be careful even if you aren't the controlling type. My oldest started out choosing accounting just because he didn't know what to pick and thought it was what we wanted. He was much happier once he asserted himself and switched to marketing.

Thanks for sharing more of your story. This may be why we have had different outcomes. When I heard that it was possible to complete college in high school, I jumped all over it. I chose my own major based on my preferences. My parents were encouraging, but didn't push. In fact, often they would say, "Are you sure you don't want to slow down a little bit?" So maybe this process works well when the student is the driving force behind it.

As an add-on to all these posts, it is certainly true that all parents need to be cautious about this. My mother didn't force me to do this. I was very motivated to do it. I didn't use CP, I did it on my own, and I planned it all myself (honestly, my mother had virtually nothing to do with the planning aspect of it.) It was more of a manipulation than an actual force. There weren't any other options. Although we were never officially Quiverfull or any other official group, that was very much the doctrine that I was force-fed (with some very odd inconsistencies thrown in- ex. my parents are separated.) Colleges are secular (read: evil.)

I think possibly the biggest reason parents need to be cautious is that some of the kids who will be most excited about this opportunity are also the ones who would most appreciate the opportunities a traditional university would afford. I was very academically inclined, I was feeling extremely unchallenged in homeschooling (in all honesty all formal homeschooling had disintegrated by that point,) and the idea of starting college work was so exciting! It was only later that I realized all of the opportunities I missed out on. Some of the opportunities I am most looking forward to in my new program: being in an honors program, doing undergraduate research, studying abroad, completing a thesis, possibly getting an internship/co-op. If you had told me that those were an option at 17 I wouldn't have believed you. And I don't blame distance-learning for that, I blame my parentals, but distance learning was a tool that my mother used and I want to raise awareness of this. (blame is a poor but convenient choice of word. I have no animosity toward my mother over this)

It seems to me that so many homeschoolers are using the "college is a waste of money&time at a time in your life when you don't even know what you want to do" as some kind of twisted excuse to do it even earlier!

[cookderosa]

I think people who don't homeschool have a tendency to confuse several key aspects of this very important question (I'll get to in a moment). Frankly, it's easy to be an observer when you don't homeschool or are not even a parent; there are no consequences. Wouldn't that be nice. Anyway...

I spend 30 hours per week homeschooling my children, and another 25 involved in the topic of integrating homeschooling and college credit earning; this topic is very very important to me. I love the question, and I am so glad you asked it. I sent you a pm, but this is a question I'm working on a lot too.

Whether or not testing out is right for adults gets talked about all day long. It's not the same question just because someone is a few years younger.

Teenagers are not mini-adults, so there are a host of issues that come into the question- and each set has implications as to whether an individual class should be tested out, or attended in person, and at what age (high school? If so, early 9-10 or later 11-12??) If not now, later? After what? An internship, a year of travel or work? What about in preparation for a military or missionary career? How does the timing influence a daughter vs a son? What about career vs homemaker responsibilities and family values?

Learning needs - Learning style - Learning disabilities?
Cognitive readiness/academic ability ?
At what point do writing, critical thinking, and research trump content requirements and in what subject? Is it better to take certain subjects in person vs online vs through testing?
Is exam prep a replacement for a class or in addition to it?
What about cost? What about career goals?

Let's remember, an adult learner ALREADY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL whereas a teen learner is A STUDENT in high school. High school is time sensitive, there are no re-dos. Since double dipping is pretty much the goal, you have to give careful consideration to which subjects land on which side of the decision- and whether or not a fully tested out degree fits in with the big picture. Furthermore, few careers can be tested out of (even though many degrees can be), so if a teen accumulates a lot of credit, what kind of pressure is on his/her back to follow through for the sheer function of not "losing" credit? Does career prep get pushed back? Is a degree/credit an idol? How much do you give to the child vs guiding the child? Let's remember that college is FOR ADULTS so with college classes comes adult content. Would you put your 12 year old in a marriage and family social science class? At a community college?


Edit: I didn't even go there- but of course cost is a big issue, and probably the driving force behind testing for a lot of people, shaving time is probably second. Whether or not you think it's ok to borrow money, to bring debt into a marriage, and other issues are all discussions the parent gets to be a part of when their teen is still in high school

Zillions, zillions, and zillions, of facets to this complex and complicated decision that a PARENT IS MAKING for their child. (for the non-homeschoolers, yes, the parent makes the decisions until their teen graduates high school as is required by law)

And after alllll of the tossing and turning, there is no guarantee that any of these decisions are the right or wrong ones - or that your teen won't later wonder about other options.

[Leherself]

Plus there're all the questions about family situation and the individual student's capabilities, preferences, and other considerations. A highly driven, gifted student with a passion for a STEM field, with plenty of funding for any program they want to go to? Completely different from a middling student who is a little interested in a few different things but doesn't have any money for college. Or better still - there are plenty of kids who don't want to go to college at all, and for those parents the thought of "any credential is better than nothing" might be reasonable, so long as it's reasonably easy and affordable to get.

Thankfully college is not the be all and end all. There's more than one "right" or "wrong" option for any particular student, and the game isn't all over even if you take an odd turn in your late teens/early twenties, or even later.